I gotta change my name to `/[Mm][iI]+[rR][aA]+/` with how often I get called MIIRAAAA or similar

at least we know what gogurt is made out of now

_watches the anime about fucking robot girls_ Why is there so much sex in this show?

"wait what the fuck do you mean your roommate tried to kill you?" "We part ways here, alas that's a mystery left for our next acquaintance" "Actually we're walking in the same direction for a while" "... shit, okay so back when I was a freshman"

> "Wait how do you two know each other?" > "Homethey don't act like you. Weren't there" > "I wasn't" > "Wait hold on, how the fuck do we know each other?"

Sometimes I think I'm not a girlfail lesbian Other times: > "why the fuck do I need to force you to say things, it's like I'm trying to get a middle schoolers to confess to their crush" > "You know me and $(partner at the time) have been a thing for a while now right?" > "And you're _still_ […]

i always feel guilty drawing homura looking cool and badass, she deserves to relax and be cute with her gf #madokamagica

nessie@nessiemooo.bsky.social · 2w ago

touch my paw! …you can let go now … #madokamagica

逃げば一つ 進めば二つ 座ればこたつ

Item name: Baguette of holding Item description: A baguette that creates enough space inside a container to comfortably hold the baguette

4rd sanctuary belongs in the sex playlist, send toot

WD-40 transdermal patches. (personal use only)

Darkly, Glass Darkly (44 Missed Calls)@darklyglassdarkly.bsky.social · 4w ago

for a half-second I thought that was a wd-40 _dermal patch_ and was puzzled.

Next week on Tran Girlismo

victoria scott@victoriascott.bsky.social · 4w ago

oh also I finally had energy last night after work to write next week’s Tran Girlismo so I hope you’re ready for another Geopolitics Special, bitches

A word of advice Don't do shots of vinegar out of a prescription bottle

I enable your behavior because GitHub won't

It's always about Las Vegas, why doesn't anyone ever talk about Las Altairs and Las Denebes

Photo dump from vacation

I think I found out why my NAS is filling up

"it's not a highball, it's a fuck-it-we-ball" The drink in question was: * 3.5 shots of vodka * 1oz lime juice * unknown amount of Vegas tap water * probably like half a shot of syrup

Colonel, I'm trying to weave, but I'm overcome with longing and the clap of my doki doki keeps alerting slender Aphrodite

I wanted to go stargazing tonight, since it's around when the summer triangle is at its peak, unfortunately it's been stormy all evening so that's no longer an option Altair Deneb and Vega? Nah, tonight I'm seeing cumulus, nimbus, and wetness

I ran into the most inexplicable voice to text issue yesterday: > I' M T want FREE use State Lなんで日本語？ Why? I was trying to say "I am the one who's supposed to be using the thorn ring” Or really in practice "I am the one who's supposed to be 何で？日本語？ Why?"

From earlier today: > Friend A: where's the key to your heart? > Friend B: in my pants > Friend B: *pulls out a key* > Me: WHY THE FUCK DO MY APARTMENT KEYS OPEN YOUR HEART

who up losing they mandate of heaven

Who up getting bitten out of wedlock

OH: Ope, that's not an IPv6 address, that's just pornography

OH: I don't want to be your pasta, I just want to be someone's

[Horny] Dick so comedic it's pitching a Circus tent

[Honestly I'm not even sure if this merits a cw but just to be safe] What are OSHA videos if not SFW snuff fics

Drinking rose milk tastes like getting headpats from a cute girl