No, I don't.

Mood

Hey, spirit ...is this a haunting or are you just pacing because you forgot why you walked into the room? Because I do that while alive, too.

Seriously? If you can pass through solid walls, there is absolutely no excuse for you leaving the cabinet doors wide open.

You claim to be a general of the legions of Hell, but you get completely incapacitated by a circle of table salt.

If you're so powerful, why do you always wait until 3:00 AM to do anything? You aren't a threat; you're just an annoying roommate with an awful sleep schedule.

Imagine looking at crunchy leaves, glowing jack-o'-lanterns, and apple cider and saying, "Nah, I'm good." Some of you let your inner child die and replaced it with a passion for spreadsheets and a 9:00 PM bedtime, and it shows. 🎃💀 #Halloween #PartyPoopers

"No DMs / Not looking for romance" in your bio is the social media equivalent of standing in the middle of a crowded restaurant shouting, "I DO NOT WANT A SLICE OF PIZZA!" while staring intensely at the guy holding the box.

The cutest little cafe in Byron

Everyone on here is doing the whole "everyone is fake and wearing a mask nowadays 🖤🥀" routine. My brother in Christ, it is October. Put on a 1950s plastic monster mask that smells like toxic vinyl and go get some fun-size candy. Stop being boring. 🎃

Consider this your official warning that the Halloween posts will continue. My inner child has hijacked my adult brain and we are living in a permanent 1950s autumn fever dream. If you aren't here for the festive spirit, look away! 🧙‍♀️🍁

Imagine looking at crunchy leaves, glowing jack-o'-lanterns, and apple cider and saying, "Nah, I'm good." Some of you let your inner child die and replaced it with a passion for spreadsheets and a 9:00 PM bedtime, and it shows. 🎃💀 #Halloween #PartyPoopers

crunching leaves, chilly October nights, glowing candlelit porches, and a time when the neighborhood felt a little more mysterious.