my 'body count' has risen into its 30s in my 30s, how apt (not that it matters, because it doesn't, but naturally I do keep a list, on account of being a professional sex writer and all)
Kate Sloan (she/her)
@katesloan.com
📚 Author/Journalist KateWritesAboutSex.com 🍆 Sex toy reviewer GirlyJuice.net 🎙️ Sex podcaster TheDildorks.com 🪄 Vibrator nerd MakingMagicSeries.com 🎶 Songwriter KateSloan.Bandcamp.com 📍 Brooklyn + sometimes Toronto
sometimes I make my to-do list the night before, when I'm tipsy n tired, and then I wake up to line items like "jerk off (optional)"
Just gonna light this bag of dogshit on fire and walk away from the doorstep, but the people in media I hear saying AI has made them "more productive" appear to be producing less than ever, and worse things than ever. I wonder if they can even tell.
can't believe it but: 10 years ago today, we released the very first episode of The Dildorks!!! wouldn't recommend going all the way back to that first one (it's cringe-o-rama), but we do have almost 500 episodes that you should peruse, listen to, & share! thedildorks.com 😘
NEW for all patrons at the $6 level or higher: Bonus Episode 58.5: The Invite www.patreon.com/TheDildorks/... We’re both obsessed with the movie The Invite (2026) right now, so here’s an extra bonus episode where we talked about it in great detail!
Bonus Episode 58.5: The Invite | The Dildorks
Bonus Episode 58.5: The Invite by The Dildorks on Patreon. Join The Dildorks's community for exclusive content and updates.
patreon.com
I was born in ‘92 & recently hooked up with someone born in ‘99 & I think that might be the youngest I’ll ever go… sorry 2 all the horny young adults but I think it would feel too strange for me to get with someone whose birth year is in a whole different century from mine, as arbitrary as that is
I took a handjob workshop at Good For Her like 14 years ago and the return on investment has been incalculable
instructions for a great friday night 1. listen to this ep while dressing up in silk and leather 2. meet up with your bff for live jazz that takes you someplace, but that place is exactly where you are 3. finish the ep on the bus home and nod when Kate says her pull quote is “sex is a place you go”
Kate Sloan (she/her)@katesloan.com · 3d agoNEW for all patrons at the $6 level or higher: Bonus Episode 58.5: The Invite www.patreon.com/TheDildorks/... We’re both obsessed with the movie The Invite (2026) right now, so here’s an extra bonus episode where we talked about it in great detail!
I find it depressing that young women are doing 1950s-ass discourse like “if he wanted to, he would” and “I need to feel chosen”… pursuing the things you want should not be a gendered thing, in any realm! it’s disempowering AF to suggest otherwise
if they ever make a movie version of the myth of Sisyphus they should cast in the leading role Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
FYI for anyone who ever crosses the US border: CBP can now open your phone to look for nudes just cause they’re bored
The Border Chronicle@theborderchronicle.bsky.social · 3d agoA federal appeals court just ruled agents can search your phone at the border with no warrant, no suspicion. This week we report on how CBP One and CBP Home are the same control system, and we turn five. Our founders and editor talk about what's next. (There's a party involved.) 🌵💛🤎 Full Roundup🔗🦂:
this piece is where my sex toy nerdery & songwriting nerdery collide 🥰
Kate Sloan (she/her)@katesloan.com · 5d agoeeee this is so exciting – the Magic Wand company commissioned me to write a song about the Wand, & to write an article about that songwriting process! truemagicwand.substack.com/p/i-wrote-a-... love the art in this piece 💖🪄 & feel blessed as ever to get to make stuff about such a legendary vibe
it remains super interesting that Diane Warren is ostensibly aromantic but has written some of the most popular love songs of our time www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA1o...
The GREATEST SONGWRITER You've Probably Never Heard Of!
YouTube video by How To Write Songs
youtube.com
NEW for all patrons at the $6 level or higher: Bonus Episode 58.5: The Invite www.patreon.com/TheDildorks/... We’re both obsessed with the movie The Invite (2026) right now, so here’s an extra bonus episode where we talked about it in great detail!
Bonus Episode 58.5: The Invite | The Dildorks
Bonus Episode 58.5: The Invite by The Dildorks on Patreon. Join The Dildorks's community for exclusive content and updates.
patreon.com
it's bonkers to me whenever I see someone posting an A.I.-generated sex toy review..... LLMs don't have genitals!!
I have seen my first bit of candy corn hate, and as the herald of "lol i bet it tastes like ass" jokes, my duty is clear. Come and preorder before prices go up and shipping begins October 1st. Happy Swalloween. www.funkittoys.com/shop/p/candy...
this piece is where my sex toy nerdery & songwriting nerdery collide 🥰
Kate Sloan (she/her)@katesloan.com · 5d agoeeee this is so exciting – the Magic Wand company commissioned me to write a song about the Wand, & to write an article about that songwriting process! truemagicwand.substack.com/p/i-wrote-a-... love the art in this piece 💖🪄 & feel blessed as ever to get to make stuff about such a legendary vibe
was hoping to get my benign ovarian cyst removed this month because it’s been hurting, but my doc told me it’ll be ~8 months before I can even see anybody because it’s considered so non-urgent, lol imagine if women’s pain was taken seriously by the medical system… would be a whole different world
you should subscribe to my newsletter for $5/mo. right now (katesloan.email) if you’d like to receive some juicy updates this week on a new person I’ve been kissing 😘 (also you get access to the hundreds of past paywalled essays I’ve written for da newsletter when you subscribe)
Sub Missives
Intimate and elegant diary entries about sex, kink, relationships, and the magic they conjure, written by Kate Sloan.
katesloan.email
I know human sex pheromones are a scientifically sketchy topic but I have no other explanation for people who, when I smell/taste their skin, my brain goes “mmmm yummmm”
lyrics of my song in defense of men (rare for me...) aimed for economy of language in this one (also rare for me...)
Kate Sloan (she/her)@katesloan.com · 5d agoSong #37/52 "Men Just Want One Thing" youtu.be/0IZcdBFzXLg My assigned theme this week was "hot take," so I wrote a Vaudeville-y song about how I think it's stupid that men are often seen as being sex-obsessed meatheads when actually a lot of them are sensitive sweeties who just want to be loved.
eeee this is so exciting – the Magic Wand company commissioned me to write a song about the Wand, & to write an article about that songwriting process! truemagicwand.substack.com/p/i-wrote-a-... love the art in this piece 💖🪄 & feel blessed as ever to get to make stuff about such a legendary vibe
I wrote a song about the Magic Wand
Kate Sloan, professional sex toy reviewer and podcaster, shares her history with Magic Wand and her creative process.
truemagicwand.substack.com
"You don't need unbelievable gear to tell great stories. Whatever [tools] you have, start telling stories with those – and don't give yourself the excuse of 'Oh, I don't have the right stuff yet'" www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbeg...
Rules for Indie Filmmakers, according to NIRVANNA THE BAND THE SHOW | TIFF
YouTube video by TIFF
youtube.com
lyrics of my song in defense of men (rare for me...) aimed for economy of language in this one (also rare for me...)
Kate Sloan (she/her)@katesloan.com · 5d agoSong #37/52 "Men Just Want One Thing" youtu.be/0IZcdBFzXLg My assigned theme this week was "hot take," so I wrote a Vaudeville-y song about how I think it's stupid that men are often seen as being sex-obsessed meatheads when actually a lot of them are sensitive sweeties who just want to be loved.