Gareth Ceredig
@garethceredig.bsky.social
||: Words-Music :|| Cold Case Crime Cuts / We Forced A Bot / The Naked Week / The Skewer and so off. Also plays in orchestras in exchange for money.
It's been a nasty old pleasure to sneak back into #TheSkewer like it's 2020 all over again. Turns out the password was still CovidLolz69. Ongoing congrats to @jonholmes.bsky.social and @tonychurnside.bsky.social, who are yet to answer for their crimes. 📻 www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand...
BBC Sounds - The Skewer - Available Episodes
Listen to the latest episodes of The Skewer on BBC Sounds.
bbc.co.uk
Trust me, lads. You can recreate the experience of performing with Andrea Bocelli without it costing a single penny: 1) Wear a dinner jacket. 2) Watch a multi-vehicle motorway pile-up from the nearest overhead gantry. 3) Listen to the ambulance siren and imagine it drenched in artificial reverb.
SOVIET PUBLISHER This new piece of yours... it's all in five-bar phrases, right? SOVIET COMPOSER No. Why would it be? Why do you always ask that? SOVIET PUBLISHER Sick. So rehearsal marks every five bars? SOVIET COMPOSER No, I said it *isn't* in-- SOVIET PUBLISHER Hey, that's great.
People who touch hearts: 1) Dr Gunther von Hagens 2) Ed Gein 3)
Of all the things that are not culture, this is quite possibly the not-culturiest.
Gareth Ceredig@garethceredig.bsky.social · 4mo agoYou keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Scheherazade Scheherazade 2: Scheherazader Scheherazade with a Vengeance
Well, there it is. After 350+ years of concerts and tens of billions of possibilities, we finally have an official, undisputed, scientifically proven Worst Programme®. Congratulations to all those responsible; Centre Court at The Hague is booked for Thursday (roof open TBC).
BRITISH ORCHESTRAL MUSICIANS: We're so glad to see the back of that conductor. What a terrible five-year tenure that was. RUSSIAN ORCHESTRAL MUSICIANS:
Simon Heffer has written his classical music article again.
Tomorrow at 15.45, then forever after* on BBC Sounds. Decipher the secret hidden message to win BIG CASH PRIZES 💲💲💲, a guided tour of Broadcasting House, and your own 10-part podcast series with a convicted felon. *for one year
Gareth Ceredig@garethceredig.bsky.social · 2mo agoA new thing on R4 next Friday. It's a devastating exploration of grief and childhood traumahahahahaaa no, not really. It's about a bunch of idiots and a bridge. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...
A new thing on R4 next Friday. It's a devastating exploration of grief and childhood traumahahahahaaa no, not really. It's about a bunch of idiots and a bridge. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...
BBC Radio 4 - Short Works, Take It to the Bridge
A brand-new satirical comedy by Gareth Ceredig. Read by Rebecca Front.
bbc.co.uk
TELEGRAPH EXCLUSIVE: "Vile and depraved" travel correspondent fails to condemn pun in cancer headline
Good grief, but when Tom Wolfe was good he was ludicrously, luridly good. This line alone deserves its own UFC fight, but really the entire collection is brilliant; a cavalcade of queasy counter- (and counter-counter-) culture Americana. Vegas and demolition derbies and Phil Spector, oh my!
Your occasional reminder that there's a dentist in Florida (of course) called Herbert C. Mantooth. That is all. Go in peace.
Incredible one-two punch from today's Telegraph feature columnists: 1) I am the stupidest man to have ever lived 2) I have given explosives to kids
First time attending Trooping the Colour. Horse Guards Parade looking magnificent. #blessed #godsavetheking
Your periodic reminder that the phrase "political columnist" derives from the Old Norse word "pjolkalmniisti", which translates as "child too stupid to fit fork in toaster".
Nice try, The Telegraph, but this is quite clearly the same person.
Thought about this again. Still utter cobblers. Still furious.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
