kinda chic to just ask for a divorce instead of creating an elaborate plot to murder your wife and children

tonight i learned the hard way that tomato jam isn’t something one simply “whips up.”

it happened to me: i took a break from caffeine and my life has been better off in almost every way. 😩

very few times in my 41 years on this earth have i ever regretted not having a driver’s license but missing out on the cultural experience of eating alone in your car is definitely one of them.

groaning while getting out of bed even though the only person around to hear me is my cat DOES make it easier, actually

watched Obsession last night. wasn’t scared at all. that was just a day in the life of having a girl cat.

82 degrees at 11pm is nasty business.

could be the wedditing hole talking, but so far In the Mouth of Madness is making me really, really miss when movies were shot on film.

gonna watch Event Horizon tonight 🙏

had a dentist appointment today. they numbed the top right and bottom left of my mouth and then took this photo of me.

starting to think my cat is taking advantage of her new life in a solo cat household (had to put on noise cancelling headphones just to write 2 emails because she wouldn't stop begging for more wet food)

reading Dungeon Crawler Carl while in the midst of wedding season means i’m constantly sitting down at my desk while thinking, “now get out there and cull, cull, cull!”

“hang in there!” Leon Kennedy says to the guy getting violently ripped in half by zombies while he pulls the screaming, disembodied torso through a roll-up door.

everyday we stray further from god’s light

zendaya is meechee

ToonHive@toonhive.bsky.social · 4mo ago

Matthew Lillard criticized the industry for prioritizing celebrities over voice actors in animation: “The ability to carry a film, as the lead of a film with only a voice, is a power very few people have. The idea that they keep hiring crappy celebrities to carry huge films is killing us.”

getting pregnant while drinking tequila call that a repo baby

if you can’t handle me at my john jacob jingleheimer schmidt then you don’t deserve me at my DA DADA DADA DA DA DAAAAA

why is an email with a clear cut answer the single hardest thing to write

whole foods playing "mixer" by amber mark is craaaazy. what's next? "pony" by ginuwine??? we're living in A SOCIETY!!!

if you saw someone at freddys this morning with insane VPL that was me and yes, it is laundry day

sorry i’m late for work. i put on my shoes and could feel the seam in my socks.

looking in my pantry having a recovered memory of when i was in high school and made fonts out of my handwriting. sometimes even i forget what a fuuuuucking dweeb i … was?

reading a hard copy of a book. made it 2 whole pages before i tried to long press a word i didn’t know.

the Brain, the Gut and the Butt are the mean girl gang in the high school of my body

i don’t think I have ever, in the history of owning a bench scraper, known where I put my bench scraper

“i don’t think i like these chips” i say as i eat half the bag trying to decide.

regret to announce due to recent developments the Safeway fka "Dad Safeway" has been rebranded as "Anti-Vax Safeway." that is all.

can't sleep because i dared to dream of a future where there's a biopic about the Black Eyed Peas and Fergie is played by Kaitlin Olsen

going to work today for the fourth Saturday in a row like i have a fucking JOB or something…

can’t stop thinking about this episode of TNG that revolved around Lieutenant Incel turning the holodeck into his secret gooner lair