Getting quite excited for an assuredly dumb season of college football.

When I get to work on a slow day I /am Garrett Shearman When my actual friend coworkers are there I am Gurt Sherm When it's 5:30 and nobody's here I am Chef Jack Shithappenin

I do not care for the all-white UGA football uniforms set to make a debut, they're not the worst thing ever but it's not Jawjah Booldawgs to me. But if the recruits and the players like them then yeah sure whatever Go Dawgs.

For a long time, the most I could ever afford in terms of rent was $800 + bills with multiple roommates. So goddamn grateful I can afford $1200 + bills to live alone in Atlanta proper.

Getting real fucking tired of the transphobic WNBA player whose name itself even pisses me off

Trans folks belong in sports and everywhere else, fight me.

I have the Inspector Gadget theme song stuck in my head and I ain't even mad about it

I know ATL folks moan and groan about traffic a lot, and yes dumb drivers are everywhere, but trust us. We've seem some Mad Max shit.

I'm really glad I live so close to work because it only takes about two miles of driving in this city to see your first mind-bogglingly boneheaded traffic maneuver of the day.

But what if, and hear me out, I do NOT want to go to work?

FSU really dropped the ball(s) on "Seminole Fluid"

Matt Brown@mattbrown.bsky.social · 7h ago

Okay this is a rare PR announcement that I'm suddenly very interested in. UTRGV has their own new gatorade like this...which other schools used to do? I want to know everything about the Rutgers knockoff Gatorade

Jimi Hendrix voice

okay stop tagging me in the yogurt joke lol my friends have been doing it since college

Okay I gotta get this off my chest. Yesterday I told my sister "Yeah I wanted to get a pet, but living alone and working 50 hours a week, I wouldn't."

The last time I dressed in drag, I was playing a huge house party with The Fine Hunnies in the middle of July from the garage. Lemme tell ya, a thin beach dress is a lot more comfortable than jeans and a t-shirt in those conditions.

Stipend is a fun word, but tragically has nothing to do with dressing like the lead singer of R.E.M. "I Stipend myself this morning by putting blue makeup on the entire nose-eye-ear region of my head."

Yesterday I saw possibly the biggest lifted big-tire-having GMC Sierra I have ever seen. I'm 6'6" and the top of the hood came to my chin. I like trucks, but shit like that should not be street legal.

yo

Uncle Duke@uncleduke1969.bsky.social · yesterday

somebody seems to be trying real hard to get Gurt’s attention

nice

Michelle Pfeiffer? I hardly Michelle know h—

Metalocalypse infected my brain in a way where I refer to acoustic instruments as "grandpas guitars" 90% of the time, like I don't care if it's a cello it's a grandpas guitars

Hot damn, Kennesaw State's new pseudo-retro owl logo whips ass. Again I have no real affiliation with Kennesaw State, I went to high school in Kennesaw and one of my best friends was a slot receiver on their first football team so I kinda root for HOOTY HOOOOO.

Maaaaaan today I got those First Day Of School pictures of my nieces, I did get emotional. Getting so big! I love that they're actually friends and love and cherish each other. That'll likely change briefly in their teens, but I've never seen them do anything "siblingly mean" to each other, ever.

Credit to Dethklok, recording an album in the Mariana Trench in a nuclear submarine would be so fucking brutal no matter how bad the audio quality is

I didn't smoke weed on my day off because I went to see my sister and nephew, then a friend, then ran errands, then took a nap. I'm getting high and watching Metalocalypse. We have fun here.

I've been very generally happy and giving myself a lot of grace recently so let me complain about something dumb I did lmao I left my favorite sandals at my parents' house 30 miles away a few weeks ago and they've both been traveling for the past few weeks and I'm mad at myself because I want them

I got this at a Braves-Mets game in 2003 and it's not worth anything so I finally took it out of its case just to play with it while I watch movies because I'm a child

I want the opposite of a batting cage where you throw pitches at a swinging machine that doesn't swing crazy hard. Test your reflexes from the mound after signing 20 pages of waivers.

Here's a dumb fact about my knowledge of Mastodon, probably my favorite band of all time: I first heard the band around 2003 or 2004 as a kid and I was hooked. Did not know they were based in Atlanta until several years later in early high school, maybe.

If I get Old Man by Neil Young stuck in my head, it's there for several days and I've never been upset about it. Perfect song.