Cody: Why can’t the FDA regulate the buoyancy of pills??? This is ridiculous.

Megan: I was really tempted to ask those people if they knew Haunted Like Human. Dale: Megan sometimes people are just gay, not every gay person is our fan. Cody: But they should be! It’s homophobic to not know Dale Chapman, Gay Icon.

Dale looking at our Patreon cover footage: Gosh I love Juniper being cute in 4K Cody: 4K stands for forehead kisses, right?

Us talking about tempos after trying a song with a metronome for the first time: Dale: Alright, hear me out… Cody: We kidnap their drummer. Dale: Or we try it a little quicker…? Cody. Oh. That’s much easier than kidnapping.

Dale, after putting on their glasses for the day: Juniper! Look at your friggin face! I hadn’t seen you in HD yet this morning!

Cody: Look man, I love that movie as much as the next dude with nostalgia. (On Twilight and the whole saga)

Cody: So hear me out. We sleep in the van on the beach, then we take the ferry across to New Jersey and just get to Philly that way! Dale: …. Don’t I ridicule you enough? Cody: You’d get bored if I didn’t throw out dumb ideas at you. Dale: Unfortunately you’re probably right.

Cody, after an hour of silence in the hotel room: You know. There’s a giant bell on Facebook marketplace. We could get it and then roll up to Philly like “What up, bitches, ours is intact.”

Cody, riffing over the course of a few minutes: “I’m good at anything that DOESN’T make money.” “I think it’s perhaps some sort of family curse.” “Yes, any task that doesn’t lead to monetary gain is where I thrive.”

Dale ordering us Starbucks for a quick coffee before we hit the road: You walking to back from the trenta cold brew? Just the regular big boy today? Cody: Yeah man, I think it’s just flying a little too close to the sun. I mean, the sun gets so LOUD when you drink the whole thing, ya know?

Dale’s homemade candles are finally ready for the merch table! They’ll be available starting at next week’s shows, and once we’re home from that run we’ll list them on the online store.

Cody, sing-song: Songs about ghosts, songs about trains… Dale: Songs about murder! Cody: Songs about murder and haunted thaaaangs (I’ll give y’all guess as to which song we were hitting in practice)

Cody, grumbling about his meds melted today after being hot in the van: Hmm. I do not like it. Dale, to themself working on their laptop: I do not like it, Sam I Am. Cody: Yes, I do not like it, Dale You Are.

Cody, with a heavy sigh: Why is Facebook marketplace trying to show me unicycles again?

(After giggling about the Alex Jones rant about chemicals turning frogs gay.) Cody: Yeah, that’s why it’s LGBTF, right? Or are frogs just included in the “plus”? OH, no, that’s what the A stands for: amphibian! I guess it just depends on how inclusive we’re being.

Cody, looking disdainfully at the metronome: god I hate playing with a drummer

Cody, writing lead sheets: Expression notes for Eurydice… “perform like you’re singing into a cavern that leads to hell….. or actually, whatever that is in Italian.”

Dale, tapping out tempos because we lost the studio notes with exact tempos for songs: God, we’re such cowards, this is 118, it’s not even 120BPM. Cody: It’s just a slow 120. We were just dragging it. Dale: …. It’s not like you can tune a tempo to 432hz for fun my guy.

Cody: Jim Beam? What, is that the liquor that comes in a harmonica set?

Cody, reaching into the front pocket on his flannel Dale: Watcha got in there? Nuts and seeds? Cody: No, it’s my pills! Why do you always think I’ve got nuts and seeds in my pockets? Dale: Because you’re the kind of man who often has nuts and seeds in his pockets!

Cody: Oh, looks like we got some radio play in Petersburg. Dale: Petersburg? St. Petersburg? Cody: This Peter had not yet achieved sainthood, so it’s just regular Petersburg.

Cody opening up his everything bagel: they aren’t skimping on the birdseed here. I appreciate that.

Dale, looking at the instructions for how to put together the collapsible merch frame thing we just got. Dale: Two or more persons are needed for assembly? Ok but have you considered I’m *gay*??

More biathlon Commentator: Some of the world’s best biathletes here. Dale: Hell yeah, all these bi athletes on the world’s stage. Megan: Look at that representation! Cody: Love the bi athletes. But what really sickens me are the triathletes. What do they think they’re trying to pull?

Moments later, still the mixed relay biathlon. Cody: They’re all going at once? I thought it was gonna be 4 at a time or something. Dale: Nah they’re all in the mix, the chaos is part of the fun. Cody: And how many come out of the forest? (1/2)

Watching the Olympics, put on the biathlon to mix things up. Megan: Oh, it’s men AND women! Cody: Yeah, and they’re all bi. Dale: …. What??? Cody: Well it’s not the straight- or gay-athlon.

Us watching Olympic men’s speedskating, Austria vs The Netherlands Cody: Man, look at Ned go. He’s going so fast. Dale: …. I didn’t think either of their names were Ned? Cody: Well it says it on his pants, I figured it must be his name. (Yes he was kidding y’all)

At long last, the black and sky blue pressings of our latest record American Mythology are HERE! Side D includes demo and live versions of a few of the songs as well as a studio cover of Gregory Alan Isakov’s “Liars”. The handmade pressing will be available by the end of the month.

*Dale and Cody and Megan all talking over each other* Cody: There are too many ADs in here, running around and HDing all over each other I swear