When you start using keyboard with a new layout, how long does it take your brain to adjust? Not “new layout” like Dvorak — I mean subtle differences like “the arrow keys are farther away than they are on my laptop keyboard.” Trying to decide how much longer I continue my current, uh, experiment.

RETAILER: Your thing shipped and here’s the tracking number COURIER (when given tracking number): I don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. This “tracking number” is no more meaningful to me than if you had simply mashed on the keyboard COURIER (24–36 hours later): Yeah, this is a package

Blog comment spam is getting clever! I can see how this one flew under the radar.

The meanest thing anyone was willing to do to Dolly Parton was cast James Woods as her love interest in a movie. Don’t know whose call that was, but I hope they apologize to her as part of a daily ritual

TEAMS: Look, I get it. You don’t want to be using Teams; you wish you were using Slack. Here’s a preset to make all my keyboard shortcuts match Slack’s. ME: Thanks! A pleasant surprise. But… how do I move up and down the channel list via the keyboard, like in Slack? TEAMS: I don’t know what that is

My earliest years of web dev trained me to recognize “URL in address bar changes several times before reaching destination” as an anti-pattern. Even though now I see it half a dozen times per day, it’s been hard to re-train myself to recognize this as “normal and safe authentication flow”

OK, let's see what the Nextdoor folks are talking about tod—

If you try to log into something at work and it fails inexplicably, eventually check to see if you’re typing in an email address that belonged to you three jobs ago

Is this a “normal” thing to post on Nextdoor? Sure; I’ve read far stranger. Is this a “normal” thing to post on Nextdoor in response to someone else’s lament that a beloved local restaurant is closing? A harder question to answer.

As AI inserts itself into how humans produce things with computers, at what point do we ensure that nobody misuses “its”/”it’s” again? I would’ve guessed that’d be way closer to the beginning than “brainrot deepfake TikTok engagement bait,” but maybe that’s why I’m not a “thought leader”

You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I feel silly for bringing it up. I’ll just accept _the mother of all coincidences_ and we can restart this whole news cycle. You can proceed with your plan to _further_ monetize the World Cup and let’s please never speak of my faux pas again

I have an involuntary reaction to text formatted with seemingly RANDOM capitalization like this. I know it's because Nextdoor (like most sites) doesn't offer richer formatting options than this — but my brain is trained to believe that this is simply how NIMBYs type.

Discord’s business model is aimed at making money from people who use it for reasons other than I do (open-source work). It’s as if I were able to use Pinboard for free because it had decided its only revenue would come from charging a small fee every time someone bookmarked erotic fan fiction.

I am not English; but I have followed the New Orleans Saints for most of my life, so I get it

I am paralyzed by the sheer number of ways a modern employer can put badges on my dock icons that, when pursued, lead to content that could not be less relevant to me

No more threatening words from a World Cup commentator than these: “Wonderwall is playing; let’s listen in.”

In other news, the phrase I never want to hear again after this World Cup is “I've seen it given before.” I bet you have! An individual referee has about 500% more leeway than they deserve to have; if anything, VAR is showing the seams in the rulebook

Today we all get to enjoy these distinctly American ideas: * Seeing Trump fuck up something you like and being powerless to stop it * Watching other authority figures play along rather than tell him “no” * Expecting other people to be adults when Trump acts like a child

Nextdoor emails me regularly with summaries of recent discussions. That’s fine. I’m a weirdo who likes to know what my neighbors are irrationally paranoid about. But “here’s a prompt from our robot that we think you might like to answer” is among the more sociopathic emails Nextdoor sends.

We have prevailed through adversity. Time to celebrate the only way I know how

Non-US readers: if “David Beckham goes to Home Depot to help a random dude renovate his back yard” strikes you as a dumb idea for a commercial, then perhaps you understand why American fans _especially_ dislike hydration breaks

Happy for England, but I'm curious how they're going to play even a half in Mexico City — in four days! — without dying of exhaustion. Rice might spontaneously combust

“The crowd have just seen how tight that offside call was… and it did _not_ go over well.” *proceeds to show a graphic of Mbappe being obviously offside, raising the question of just what the fuck these French fans want* (Look, I'm a USMNT homer, but I would not boo if Balogun was caught offside)

If you said “Erling Haaland has 64 teeth” to my face, I’d probably believe you

That’s at least the third time that an announcer has heard boos at the beginning of a hydration break and suggested that the boos were related to something _other than_ the hydration break. “Oh, they must not have liked _that_ call from the referee!”

Paraguay is happy now but won't be when they realize they have to play… uh, maybe Sweden, the way things have been going

Look, I'm not an “expert,” but has anyone considered just running up and kicking the shit out of the ball

I’m thrilled to watch USMNT fans like myself have to grapple with optimism — we weren’t expecting a start this good! — but I’m gonna need us to find a level _between_ “I have no expectations whatsoever for this team” and “I guess we could win the World Cup?”

"It makes no sense to get the best goal scorer in world football out in a game that you need goals." — the Portuguese manager, describing a guy who scored 0 goals in the last World Cup and 0 goals in the last Euros, and failed to get any shots on target today

Spain/Cape Verde was about as exciting as a scoreless draw can possibly be. One of the tournament favorites can't break through against an island country with 1% of its population.