It's just refreshing being insane again. Fuck it, if I wasn't meant to cut why is everything so hard

i'm just a face in the crowd nothing to worry about not even trying to stand out i'm getting smaller and smaller and smaller

teeth in the necks of everyone you know you can keep on sucking until the blood won't flow when it starts to hurt, it only helps it grow

i now know the depths i reach are limitless

are you alone? are you alone? isn't everyone isn't everyone

there is no moving past there is no better place there is no future point in time we will not get away

I haven't been able to seriously scar myself in a while. I have to be careful because wrists are full of nerves but I kinda hope I sever something anyway

Finally did some good damage. The whole room smells like iron

I drew our fursonas and I was so proud of that and then he told me that stupid story and I want to rip it into pieces

He won't change. He will never change. I hate myself

Once he pays me back I'm gonna take a giant step back

Having sex with me is bad because it would make me more attached to him but hanging out every day is totally fine. Selectively deciding what hurts me because it benefits you

He showed me his Uber driver and he was like oh he's your type and I sad my type was emotionally unavailable men and he just said "oh"

Everyone wants to fuck you don't they

Man I feel awful

i dont have any pre trans photos but if i were to post a before/after itd basically look like this

He told me about a hookup and I tried to be okay with it but now I just want to cry

Maybe I'll give him everything and shoot myself.

I don't want to start a fight

He can't have sex with me because I'm in love with him, but if he asked me for money that's totally fine, for reasons. So it's not taking advantage of me to have sex when I'm in love with you, but asking for money is ethically fine for you. Do you see what I mean

Ton is asking for money and he'll pay me back and whatever. I honestly want to ask that he just start having sex with me again and I'll just give him the money. But I'm not that much of a fucking loser. He's going to pay me interest which is almost as good as sex.

It's cool that Chhavi also said all this nasty shit about me too. I liked her. Whatever I'm just done with people

Being accurate about who and when and what we're talking about means you support rape and femicide. Fuck you, go ahead and call me a misogynist. I don't give a fuck anymore

I hate arguing with people I actually like but whatever, you're the queen of reality and everything you say is real and true and I'm a man who hates women right. I love patriarchy so much. Fuck you

Don't tell me I deserve better because I clearly don't

If there were nothing wrong with feeling like this and why do I feel like I've committed every crime in the universe. Why do I feel like I'm fucking committing genocide right now.

If I had a gun right now I'd be dead. I deserve to die.

I can't afford to go on a million dates with a million guys who are not going to be exactly what I want them to be. It's not like I'm some fucking overly demanding asshole either. The only thing I really strictly care about is having good politics, which means everyone in my city is off limits

I genuinely can't believe I spent 36 years like this. I only started transitioning at 32. I will never be loved to as a man. I'll never be anyone's boyfriend, I'll never be anyone's husband, I will fucking die an unlovable fucking worthless animal. I do not deserve human rights