If you bust your ass at work you should be allowed to bust a nut at work

I’m so hungry I could eat a dick

Spoiled Keurig cups simply taste better

When you accidentally fabricate a porterhouse

1 pack of child’s cigarettes. Never smoked. 😭

Strangers on this world we are one But we are not two, we are one 🙃

We’re in the smoke zone, baby

For an extra $1.26 the McDonalds employees will jizz in your Dr. Pepper

I can’t cum unless I’m listening to Duel of Fates 😀

I am really disgusted with what Mark Hamill did. I know it’s been a while since The Last Jedi came out, but I’m still upset about it.

Don’t stop wiping until you see red, boy.

Hi

My local gas station is haunted. I’ve heard of Ghost in the Shell, but this is ridiculous!!!

These Metroids are making me thirsty!!!

Who up counting their beans

I seriously hope that [Redacted]

Nice try. Bears can’t even talk. 🙄

I’ve been gooning in protest but I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone about it 😭

even a broken cock is hard twice a day

I want something savory and creamy and green.. like some kind of dip. If only there were some kind of vegetable that met this criteria…

Netflix is one step away from doing real life Celebrity Deathmatch

Erika Kirk Cum Tribute

Welcome to my Men At Work themed coffee shop, Brew Can it Bean Now

Piss Roasted Dick in our Signature Cum Sauce

My biggest complaint as a 38 year old with a poor diet is that every shit begins like a shotgun blast

I’ve got a fan theory that Stranger Things takes place in the 80’s

Amazon Prime Graded Beef

The comply or die group are the same lot that reminded the teacher to assign homework

My standup persona says “ain’t that aboutta bitch?” He says it’s ALOT