I hope in my next relationship I finally get to be the girlfriend. So far I’ve had to be the: man the mom the therapist and the sugar mama but never the princess. 👑

Barbie will never get pregnant, cause Ken cums in a different box..

((At some point, when every storyline turns into drama, and every RP ends with another player having an issue with you or your approach, you’ve gotta take a healthy step back and ask yourself the uncomfortable question: What if the common denominator is you? 🫵))

How do I get a relationship expunged off my record, that shit is worse than a felony!

My ex taught me that not every "I love you" is real! I taught him neither is every orgasm. 👀 Who's crying now?

Is it really a hardcore robbery if you had keys? You didn’t exactly “break in,” sweetheart. You let yourself in. And yes, I have the footage of you holding up my keys. Give my shit back in 48 hours, or my new party trick: separating the audio so your little robbery can go public WITH A SOUNDTRACK.

Me: What are those things you blow when you want to make a wish? Friend: A Sugar Daddy? Me: No, I can't deal with you today!

Turns out I do use algebra, I look at my X and wonder Y!

Fun fact: insurance pays purchase value on luxury handbags, shoes & jewelry. Don't worry, Diesel is healing! Keep the other shit. Its owner is coming to town, unlike me, he has far more resources, has you on my cameras, he'll know who you are in a matter of hours. Bless your silly little souls..

I have accepted that the closest I'll ever get to experiencing an African Safari is seeing a camel toe in cheetah print leggings in Hathian!

🍏💀 ONE BITE CHANGES EVERYTHING 💀🍏 Turn pain into art, and turn heads instantly at The Poison Apple. 🍏 Tattoos + Scarification 💀 Piercings + Jewelry 🍏 Body Mods + Implants 💀 Flash + Custom Rotten never looked this good. #SecondLife #TheCrackDen #Roleplay #Metaverse

When a male argonauts octopus finds a mate, he rips his penis off and throws it at the female so she can inseminate herself. The male then grows another penis. If that isn't the most poetic way to tell someone to go fuck themselves, I do not know what is.

I don't want to hear any more shit about: "if they want to, they would!" I am in my "if they won't, someone else will" era

To whoever broke into my fucking house and stole my shit: You picked the WRONG Redhead. Bring it back. Quietly. Quickly. No questions asked. Otherwise, congratulations, asshole! You just became my newest fucking hobby. I’m petty, patient, pissed off. Anyone up for earning a HUGE reward? DM ME!

Hey guys, the irony of a blow job, is that you think you have her on her knees, but in reality, she has you by the balls.. Read it again, until it sinks in..

So let me get this straight, we have Anger Management classes, but not Stupid Management classes? It's the stupid that makes anger possible..fuck it, I got this..

Elçinsangu: Tea Time, Burning House

ALT: Elçinsangu: Tea Time, Burning House

static.klipy.com

Whelp..

The biggest red flag in 2026 is people who say: "I'm just going to see where things go" Sir or Ma'am you are 45 years old, where do you think they are going? To the bar, the gym then the nursing home?

It's so hot in Louisiana right now even the dog demanded pool privileges. I agreed..with two conditions: we do NOT refill the pool one pee at a time, and there will be ZERO poop floaties. If anyone needs a place to cool off, DM me..until my phone battery runs out.

104° feels like 124° - This is what it feels like living in Satan's butthole! The mini split is carrying this entire situationship, and Diesel acts like I'm hogging all the cold air, scoot over buddy, your makin me hot!

Ozempic out here taking the weight off everything! You Sir pulled your socks up too high and are a chicken strip on legs!

Hear me out. This excessive heat warning is the perfect time to thin the herd in Hathian. If you're too dumb to drink water when it's 98° but feels like 114°, that's between you and natural selection. We can't and shouldn't save everyone. The thirsty for attention girls should go first. = ☠️ RIP

I swear, BS today is like watching two pigeons fight over a stale French fry. Yet here we are, Diesel and I..we clocked in and are watching, like we are getting paid, looking at each other mortified..🍿