🎶🐱🐱🐱🐱🎶

i finished cleaning my house c: ✅toilets? immaculate ✅carpets? spotless ✅counters and shelves? impeccable ✅dust? get out of here, dust! ✅laundry? laundered ✅bunny? soft

Bear in the Big Blue House: Cleaning Up

ALT: Bear in the Big Blue House: Cleaning Up

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i think my biggest regret in life was not getting bullied in high school for loving chuck e cheese as a teenager. i got bullied for pokemon instead. still pretty good, but not quite "teased for still loving chuck e cheese at 17" good.

suuuuuure elliot, moving 5 tons of stone in a bucket by yourself will be really eaaaaaasy D:

poolpoolpoolpoolpoolcoolpool🐊🐊🐊💦

*slips you a note in class with a bunny map showing which parts of me are the softest and which parts are the hardest*

Bandit Heeler Sips His Morning Brew

ALT: Bandit Heeler Sips His Morning Brew

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omgosh yes a meeting i didn't want to attend just canceled 5 minutes before it's supposed to start. i'm so tired of meetings. i just want to LIVE.

Shaggy and Scooby Doo Dancing

ALT: Shaggy and Scooby Doo Dancing

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eating GOOD BAD tonight because im tired :D :D and work is driving me to EAT to feel better because work is all like *FLAILS HANDS* and im just so tired maaaaan

anyone else super picky about making sure their mouse icon is placed BETWEEN things on the screen when they're not using it? *sniffs*

my amuhzawn "about you" page thinks i have 1 child. um. so about that... 👉👈🐰🍼

work: "welcome to the Performance Engineering Excellence" task team! who's ready to PEE?" "I'm already a member of the Performing Outstanding Operations task team as well, so this will be easy!" :D :D

i'm trying my hardest to be a good boy and avoid night burritos, night spaghetti, night tater tots, night fries, night pizza, night chimichangas, night nuggies, night ham, and night cereal. those are the only foods i'm aware of that are eaten at night.

have i ever talked about how i had a huge crush on pilot from farscape back in high school? no? you know how guys would tape up like swim suit models on their walls? i taped up half a dozen pics of pilot i got from magazines. my parents thought it was weird. he had the cutest voice ;-; 👉👈

me: click offer for 2gig fiber through my phone provider. it asks for my address and to login. i select the plan. it asks for my address and to login. i select the plan. it asks for my address and to login. i select the plan. it asks for my address and to login. i select the plan... *SCREAMS D:<

If I ever decide to release any of my music again and play shows, this is what the stage will look like.

we're having proper all-day-rain ™️here in florida and the urge to nap is INTENSE. i'm hearing talk of a hurricane forming! as a certified DADBUN©️, i love weather like that because i get to see how prepared i am. generator. batteries. candles. snacks. extra fuel. ghost stories. footy PJs. bluey.

WHOA there's a coyote in my yard!! what should i do?! should i feed it? im gonna feed it.

Hungry Coyote's Stressed Tongue

ALT: Hungry Coyote's Stressed Tongue

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having nothing but chips for dinner tonight :D question is, do i mean chips as in british chips OR american chips?? HMMM i'm not gonna say because english is shifty like that huh DON'T TELL MY DAD D:<

me taking a quiz in one of my classes today: ooooh, professor, this quiz is a repeat of last week's quiz!! the class: *SIGHS* SHUT UP RABBIT. DORK.

if you could go back to being a kid again right now, with all your memories intact, would you do it? you'd have to repeat your whole life again. would your brain even be capable of understanding your adult memories? could an 8 year old me understand what i learned in college & throughout my career?

i'm 8 unless i've haven't eaten for the day, then i'm 7. because after i ate, i'm 8. get it. AHAHAHAHA. ahaha. hah. um. *kicks hindpaw at the ground*

did you know that toothpaste on a saltine cracker is basically the same thing as a mint oreo? :D stay tuned for more helpful hints from elliot! :D :D

"I'm pleased to report that Elliot is now safely out of the pool and has taken a shower. He washed behind his ears. Inside ears. Behind his tail. Inside his tai... *BATTERY DIES*" D:

my name is elliot and im in a pool im in a pool because im very cool! I had to clean up raccoon stool so i could swim in my pool because im very cool! 🐰💦🍺🥽🍕🍕🐭

ask your mom if you can stay over saturday night!! :D don't forget your sleeping bag again or we'll have to share mine like last time *nose scrunch* 🫣👉👈

my entire vibe is just being the dorky little brother of your best friend that you secretly have a crush on. you come over for a sleepover and keep asking where i am. i'm only 1 or 2 grades below you but still sleep with a lion king blanket and watch bluey. you know exactly where my locker is.

:D :D

neat! the city is driving around spraying a mist into everyone's yards because apparently mosquitoes here have dingus disease or something like that *nose scrunch*

Can I participate in locktober, too? I've got a pretty neat lock on my front door and one on my garage and one on the backdoor. They're not as colorful as some of the locks I'm seeing here though *sniffs*