Tessera

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀

@disentingcat.bsky.social

Blue cat in a red dog state. Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful…🌈

6593 Posts7637 Follower 2917 Folgt

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 14h ago

shenikaakridge:
Do you believe we are born gay?
Be honest.
thisoneOverhere:
No I won my gayness in a poker game actually
brianmstewart:
Please tell us you won it with a straight flush.
thisoneOverhere:
Pair of queens

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 14h ago

(2 guys in a bar talking)
"I also treat my body like a temple: an ancient structure in desperate need of repair, long ignored and of rapidly decreasing significance to a largely indifferent society; "

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2d ago

(Woman) Is 36 a lot?
(Man) Depends on the context.
Days since a sitting senator was last seen alive? Yes.
Number of times you've won the same war...? Also yes.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2d ago

eyeswideshut75 17h
+ Pete Hegseth: "We need our warriors to embrace the Spartan mindset"
U.S. Military: *suffers crushing defeat to the Persians*

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 3d ago

I'll have you know you're talking to the leader of the largest nation on Earth.
And what nation is that?
PROCRASTINATION

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 3d ago

"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurity all of our precious bodily fluids."
-Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 3d ago

jason y
@jasonarewhy
Only a FOOL would buy IKEA furniture. Instead I just download the instructions and keep emailing their service dept to say that I am missing a piece, until they ship me all the pieces over a six month period

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d ago

Terry F
@daemonic3
JESUS: I shall turn water to wine
JUDAS: Actually wine is 85% water so that's only 15% miracle
JESUS: This is literally the WORST
betrayal

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d ago

a just-shower-thoughts
Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate.
jpfinch1
I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.
churchyardgrim
I mean it's kind of not, seeds aren't analogous to sperm, hell, pollen isn't analogous to sperm, plants don't do dimorphic gametes like that. a better analogy would be firing a couple dozen fully-formed babies from a tshirt cannon
lunapics
Now we're having a good day again.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 4d ago

(Nurse) OKAY DONALD, LET'S
GET YOU BACK TO YOUR ROOM
(Old man) BUT I KNOW
THE REFLECTING POOL WAS VANDALIZED

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 6d ago

BIGtIMIS
@OrevaZSN
X.com
I find it astounding that Christians believe Heaven is this beautiful place with breathtaking natural landscapes, where all your needs are met, there's no war or hunger, and everyone lives in harmony, yet here on Earth, they call it socialism and say it's evil.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 7d ago

David Corn C
@davidcorn.bsky.so...
The Great Red Scare of Mesopotamia was really something.
@Acyn
Trump on communism: “It's been proven to be a disaster for thousands of years.”

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 7d ago

knowanoah:
Stop telling yourself that the grass is greener on the other side, because it's not. It is greener where you water it. So take control of your life and start watering your own pastures and grow your own greener grasses.
moniquill:
Fuck grass, clover is a nitrogen fixing legume and dandelions are super useful. Be the weeds.
Grow on concrete in defiance of those who would thwart you.
luminous-lily12:
It's also greener where you bury a body
the-a-j-universe:
This post really goes for a ride.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · last wk.

Live your life in such a way that if the escalator stops, you don't assume it's because people hate you.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · last wk.

(Marines raising the flag on Iwo Jima)
ANTIFA
C. 1945

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · last wk.

PEOPLE SAY I POST
TOO MUCH ABOUT POLITICS -
SO HERE IS A PICTURE OFA
CUTE PUPPY.
HE HATES TRUMP, TOO.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · last wk.

lan Bremmer:
$73 billion in additional fuel costs for americans since the start of the iran war...or $562 per household.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · last wk.

Why cats aren't allowed on aircraft carriers.
(Giant cat looking at a jet that has just fallen off)

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · last wk.

God:
“So, tell me...
did you welcome the foreigner?
Help the poor? Feed the hungry?
Care for the sick?... you know, all the things Jesus commanded?”
MAGA at the Pearly Gates:
“Listen here LibTard”

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

Nightvibes3000 4h
Subscribe
•..
"Magats". Not very Christian-like. You should probably refrain from mentioning scripture in any of your posts seeing as you obviously don't follow it (Re: "love even thy enemy".
•..your
words are hardly loving). Don't be a hypocrite.
Dr Stacey Patton
now
Look demon, you thought quoting scripture at me would work because you assumed I was Christian.
I'm not a Christian and I don't love my enemies. I hate those fuckers.
I hate MAGAts. I don't forgive fascists and racists. I don't pray for y'all either. And I'm not taking Bible homework from some musty anonymous pew-sniffer who thinks Jesus died so bigots could hide in my comments.
Get off my thread and go rebuke somebody at Cracker Barrel. And the only cheek I'm turning is my Black ass so you can kiss it.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

(Right wing extremists wearing masks)
nikki.writes.back
spent 4 whole years acting like a paper mask at Costco was the trail of tears just to voluntarily dress like a racist beekeeper in
110-degree heat

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

thisoneOverhere:
CAT OWNERS AT THE VET: idk what's wrong with Peanut Butter Cup Jr, he hasn't been laughing at my movie references like he usually does
DOG OWNERS AT THE VET: hey so dickhead here ate a 9V battery again
battyrae138:
Vettech here: this is absolutely accurate.
thisoneOverhere:
And the dog is always fine and the cat is actually like three seconds away from spontaneous combustion

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

Eru: *Creates hobbits.*
Hobbits: *Create Second Breakfast.* Eru:
Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

(Chad) TEXAS IS READING THE BIBLE IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS
(Jesus) TELL THE GIRLS THEY CAN BE SOLD AS SEX SLAVES TO WHOMEVER
THEIR DAD CHOOSES, PER EXODUS 21:7-11

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

seaymph
I want to make you feel like a humid Southern night, where the Spanish moss drips from the trees like lace, and honeysuckle buds perfume the air.
Sticky, glistening skin. Sultry and forever.
pugsarelub
and fifty dozen mosquitos are sucking your body dry and cicadas scream so loud you can never sleep and watch where your honeysuckle ass steps or you'll plant your foot on a pissed off copperhead
your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord
One person is from the south. One person isn't. Guess which.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

SURVIVE 250 MPH CRASH
(Race car driver bending over after a major crash)
SHIRT GETS PULLED
(Soccer player lying on the ground and screaming)

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

Just Dave Now
@justdave89now
I confidently believe the 68 million people in the
UK would outdrink 330 million Americans comfortably in a nation wide head to head
4Livs
@4 Livs
Oh please. I'll send 10 American Made Brunch Babes over there that drink enough wine between 11-2 on Sundays to put grapes on the endangered species list... Keep talking and I'll send the divorced ones.

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

thisoneOverhere:
My cat just came downstairs, hissed at me, then turned around and went right back up so l turned the TV down in case it was too loud and what even is my life right now
theresa_._h:
The other day, one of my 2 cats who I adopted as a feral kitten 3 years ago, sat on my lap for the first time ever. I did not move for 4 hours. I cancelled a lunch and a workout so he could just sleep there.
thisoneOverhere:
Everybody has a plan until a cat falls asleep in their lap

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 2w ago

(A cowboy with a giant rooster on a leash)
Hank quickly realised
He totally wasted the 1st of his 3 wishes

Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀@disentingcat.bsky.social · 3w ago

(Soldiers on a battlefield)
CAPTAIN, WE'RE GOING TO NEED AT LEAST 300 ML OF TESTOSTERONE TO TAKE THAT HILL.