I wonder who’ll come first…

A poem, by me. A mystery of life A puzzle, a riddle When it’s pissing it down Why puddle not piddle? ©️Flups

THINGS I HAVE CALLED A MASSIVE BASTARD SO FAR THIS WEEK. 1. Wasps who were gorging on a freshly decapitated pigeon. 2. A glass which refused to stand up in the dishwasher. 3. My thumbs (I have De Quervain's Tenosynovitis) 4. The wooden coat hanger which I dropped onto my toe. 5. People.

The most beautiful, kindhearted, talented lady. 2026, you continue to be an utter bastard. youtube.com/watch?v=EXHS...

"A Lil' Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place" (Song) | The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) | TCM

YouTube video by Turner Classic Movies

youtube.com

I plan to have these words printed on a t-shirt which I shall then wear forevermore.

If Midge Ure married Keith Sweat, divorced him to marry Mr. T., divorced him to marry Ed Balls, divorced him to marry June Sarpong then divorced her to marry Sheila E. he’d be Mr. Ure Sweat T. Balls Sarpong E.

MUSIC FACT OF THE DAY. Jay-Z is short for Jalfrezi.

Fantastic image of this evening’s ‘Turtley Clips’.

And now…a ‘joke’. Which airline does Julius Caesar fly with? JET 2, BRUTE… *coughs*

🎶Mr Loverman…🎶

SEE? I TOLD YOU C*RIANDER WAS EVIL! Plus explosive diarrhoea is incredibly difficult to contain as it goes everywhere. Why these experts wish to keep runny bum fudge in containers is beyond me.

Anyone for teanis?

What’s wrong? You’ve barely touched your slice of haunted dog cake.

Surely this quote should say “I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really, really, really wanna…”?

FACT OF THE DAY. Father Christmas was the very first in-flue-encer.

IT. IS. JUNE! Stop this nonsense IMMEDIATELY!

Monday.

Wait a minute…what if those splats of white stuff isn’t bird poo…

The Guardian@theguardian.com · 3mo ago

Masturbation among birds is ‘natural’ and should not be punished, say experts

Me too, mulberry tree, me too.

I imagine most of us ladies have one in this heat.

I am NOT enjoying this utter horseshit which is currently happening above me.

This bank holiday weekend… Spend over £20 - get 10% off with code GET10 Spend over £50 - get 20% off with code GET20 Prints, cards, homewares, t-shirts and more. Designed in Manchester and made in the UK. Offer ends midnight Monday 25 May 2026. www.gailmyerscough.co.uk

Gail Myerscough | Surface Pattern Designer & Illustrator | Manchester

Bold illustrated wall art, greeting cards and homewares designed in Manchester. Inspired by architecture, music and mid century design. Made in the UK.

gailmyerscough.co.uk

After fifty three years on this planet, yesterday I attended my first festival and had the BEST time! 10cc were utterly amazing, Ricky Wilson’s Fabulous Adjustable Band were brilliant and Alex James’ classical Britpop ended the whole day perfectly. A much needed escape from reality #FarmFest

Same vibe #TOTP

"Think back to your childhood. Do you remember when the anxiety started?”

Spam Ayres@squirlykat.eurosky.social · 4mo ago

"Think back to your childhood. Do you remember when the anxiety started?”

What if I’m not a delicious woman?

Liar, Liar, Liar liar, Liar liar liar, Liar liar liar liar liar, Liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar, Liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar. The Fibbernacci sequence

I visited Waddesdon Manor today and saw a statue depicting the first ever selfie being taken.

Yungdaught’s first attempt at banana bread. I might have to accidentally fall face first onto a slice any second now.