orin 🌼🌱

@sunfloww6r.bsky.social

🌻 orin - 21 - they/it 🇰🇿🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ 𓅯 silly creature :3!! 𓅰 very slow, please be patient <3 🌼 art and ramblings. my safe space, i appreciate your visit 🧡🐛 🌈💚 sunfloww6r.straw.page

of course i go through the crisis of finding out i'm bi instead of a lesbian right at the start of the bi visibility month. everything in my life is always perfectly timed to be comedic lmfaoooooo banging my head on the walls

WAY TOO MUCH IS GOINGGG OOOONNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAUUGHUHUHUHUUUUUU anyways some sketches from a week or ??two???? three? ago? i only have the time to focus on my barista training and ace attorney i never had this much happening eve.r i am utterly lost in time

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realizing just how badly i've been controlled my whole life is eye-opening and disgusting. last two weeks i stopped asking my mother for approval when i want to go somewhere and the reaction it's been inducing is... uh.. yeah

it's ridiculous how i'm still scared of hurting my mother by moving while she's away, when she had no issue giving her extremely depressed child exactly 1 day to pack all things and leave somewhere back in 2024 while saying that it's not her child. bro what are we even worried about

had the sudden fortune of reconnecting with a great irl friend recently and of course once i get to audibly laugh and smile with someone again, my mother is, again, "jealous" and mad at me to the point of lashing out. i am in genuine despair and on the brink as it is

tw flashing lights, abuse, suicide, self-harm a little something i made in attempts to externalize the weird headspace i've been stuck in lately. really like how it came out emotionally

despite all the horrid stuff, there is still something wonderful about coming out of a dissociative haze at an adult age. it really does feel like i have only been alive for a year at most, so i get to learn about the world and myself with all the adulthood advantages

honestly never forgiving my grandmother for that one situation 2 years ago when after i told my brother how green is my favorite color, she looked him dead in the eyes and asked with a smile if he's noticed that i am only ever talking about myself. i really believe it hit the nail on the head

i can't believe that ace attorney, of all things, has kickstarted my hope for being able to discover a suitable career and actually enjoy it. and to study. i have abandoned the idea YEARS ago what is happening

i'm incapable of quitting normally so i'm leaving them a note where i even drew the dog that bit me so his owner doesn't worry rhdjjsdajdjsjd ("thank you all so much for everything 💚 expect cats for a visit")

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