It's not a stolen base if it's in the Cleveland stadium.
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Sports Disinformation | Sometimes Real Analytics Est. 2020 Main Site: https://www.5thquartersports.com News Letter: https://www.5thquartersports.com/subscribe
An UNBIASED ranking of all 30 #MLB stadiums by someone who has been to all of them. Spoiler: Oakland is last. Fenway is first. Fight me.
An Unbiased Ranking of all 30 MLB Stadiums
5thquartersports.com
Can the #Warriors 2020 collapse be blamed on Moloch, the Owl God? Steve Kerr ordered the post-game rituals to stop. The Blood God requires more blood.
Can The Golden State Warriors 2020 Performance Be Blamed On Moloch, The Owl God?
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Memphis Dukes is back to break down LeBron's legacy, and how his recent move will effect it. No child left behind, except Bronny of course, who remains in LA.
PhiLeBronphia and what this truly means for his Legacy
King James finds a new Kingdom
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Deviated to learn that Arianda Grande Courtney Love'd Mac Miller
#Bengals QB Joe Burrow was forced to come out as heterosexual after a break-in revealed he has a girlfriend. He's reportedly "deeply troubled" about losing his mysterious, metrosexual vibe.
Joe Burrow Forced to Come Out as Heterosexual
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Est. 2020. When will we end it all? We don't know the exact year, but we do know it'll happen on live stream.
In preparation for the next MLB lockout, here is an article from the last lockout back in 2022 (yes, we've been a publication that long.) In the end the franchise owners...just needed to call a locksmith. www.5thquartersports.com/article/base...
Lockout Update: Keys to the Office of the Commissioner Lost, Locksmith Called
The keys to end this lockout have been lost forever.
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BREAKING: The Dodgers acquire Aaron Judge, thus making them the most hated team in history.
Zion Williamson: “I mean, #AI is just gonna take all our jobs, right? Like, it’s already happening, right? It’s hard to feel excited about improving my game all the time when that’s just something that’s gonna happen.”
Zion Williamson Opens Up About Lack Of Motivation: "AI is just gonna take all our jobs"
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I mean RIP to Kamara, but the good folks of Santa Clara in the area immediately surrounding the stadium require gigawatts of power to train their garage SOTA LLMs or whatever. A few DEs are a worthy sacrifice.
Every picture of the niners training camp with that big buzzing substation behind them is 🤌
Every picture of the niners training camp with that big buzzing substation behind them is 🤌
Cooper Flagg passed up a massive offer from the White House for Secretary of War to join the #Mavericks. Is it paying off?
BREAKING: Cooper Flagg Passed Up Offer For Secretary Of Defense To Join NBA Draft
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Mayor Zohran Mamdani announces bold new economic plan for #LeagueOfLegends. His plan includes 1.5k gold bounty on those who type "gg ez" before 15 minutes, and more.
Mayor Zohran Mamdani Announces Bold New Economic Plan: “League of Legends Shutdown Gold”
5thquartersports.com
Houston strip club owners petition the #Rockets to keep James Harden. 'The damage to the local economy could be devastating.' #NBA
Local Strip Clubs Petition For Houston Rockets To Not Trade James Harden
5thquartersports.com
Our newest contributor, Memphis Dukes, reports: "...Herro called Adebayo “Bobby Portis Light” and a “Free throw merchant”..."
What the Buck was Heating up in Vegas? Former friends become foes in Sin City.
What the Buck was Heating up in Vegas? Former friends become foes in Sin City.
What the Buck was Heating up in Vegas?
Former friends become foes in Sin City.
5thquartersports.com
This season's #NBA finals are being broadcast on Amazon Prime. The US economy is described in Alphabet Soup terms, K-shaped. Why this means you'll probably miss next season's finals. Daddy Bezos doesn't want you to enjoy anything without paying.
The NBA Finals, Prime Video, and the K Shaped Economy
5thquartersports.com
Philip Rivers, 44-year-old grandfather, is coming out of retirement for the Colts. My dad is also coming out of retirement, but because of Bitcoin. #NFL
Philip Rivers plans to come out of retirement for the Colts; My Dad has to come out of retirement because of Bitcoin
5thquartersports.com
The NBA drawn fire after announcing a partnership with Palantir for a new data analytics platform that tracks players on and off the court.
NBA and Palantir Partnership Announced To Track Players On and Off The Court
5thquartersports.com
We went to TopGolf nearly once a week for a year and then wrote an honest essay on the ambiance, the clientele, and the cost-per-ball. My conclusion? It is like Abu Ghraib for girlfriends who don't like golf. www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc...
I Went to TopGolf 50 Times This Year. An Honest Review.
After nearly a year of going to TopGolf weekly, I give an honest review. From the food, to the games, to the clientele.
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New NBA Rule Allows Team Owners To Challenge Refs
New NBA Rule Allows Team Owners To Challenge Refs
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The last few years have been tough. To appease the ancient Gods, we are going to sacrifice the losing #SuperBowl team to Huitzilopochtli. Let's make next year a good year, the old fashioned way.
The Superbowl Is For Keeps This Year: Losing Team To Be Sacrificed To Huitzilopochtli
5thquartersports.com
BREAKING: Former Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo arrested for being too cool of a guy.