Apple Bottom Jings
@afraidofwasps.bsky.social
driving behind you really close with my brights on and i'm screaming
I showed a medieval peasant a clip from "Girls Gone Wild" and he immediately came in his pants, I saw cum dripping down his leg into his Jordans which I also gave him
O, wither’d is the garland of the war, The soldier’s pole is fall’n!
Moby Dick@mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 2d agoit was Moby Dick that dismasted me
seeing you from across the Starbucks and mouthing "Meet me on the astral plane" and handing you a half-full bottle of benadryl with obvious meatball sub backwash floating in it
out drinking last night and had the foresight to put this one in the drafts instead of sending it off
Um y’all why do I have 144 mutuals with an actual killer? I can’t even 😩
Apple Bottom Jings@afraidofwasps.bsky.social · 4d agoJust killed somebody 🔥🔥🔥 Cold blood too
Whoops, didn't see U there! #VehicularManslaughter
Blueskyheads will literally go on bluesky instead of going to therapy
(acting in American Psycho but I forgot my lines) wow... business card.... a perfect rectangle... white, with words on it... All the key information is on here Jared Leto: (also forgot his lines) Plus it has Dope Handfeel as well
Reminder to get a head start on your Christmas lists... Don't leave it til the last minute like last year
SVU character: I'm NOT gay. I have relationships with women... and SEX with men. Woke Ice T: That's normal. I'm not going to put a label on you right now
Heard a guy explaining escape rooms to a woman and he said "Its like a room you can't escape, but there are clues" and she replied "I will take my daughter to that"
There was a fly on my wall and I was watching Austin Powers and when the girl said her name was "Ivana Humpalot" I swear I heard it laugh quietly
Friend: I'm going to base jump off a cliff and do a bunch of front flips Me: Account for the Magnus Effect
MAGA chud: The Odyssey with black people is historically inaccurate. Epic Lib: Yeah but the giant cyclops is real 😂😭 ✌️✌️ The Scholar: Umm 🤓 What happened to Scylla and Charybdis That one friend with a micropenis but he's positive about it: Living with a micropenis, is like playing life on NG+
For God’s sake, be economical with your lamps and candles! not a gallon you burn, but at least one drop of man’s blood was spilled for it.
Really fucked up a guy I follow for jokes and darkplace throwaway joke pfp casually drops a beautiful chamber composition
Apple Bottom Jings@afraidofwasps.bsky.social · 3w agoHad the privilege of recording a classical piano trio I composed recently. I've been obsessed w chamber music the last few years bc of the human elements that come through that can get washed out with the scale of a full orchestra. Here's the main theme:
Had the privilege of recording a classical piano trio I composed recently. I've been obsessed w chamber music the last few years bc of the human elements that come through that can get washed out with the scale of a full orchestra. Here's the main theme:
quoted post has been taken down. Completely forgot what I was responding to or why I wrote this
