Things were getting heated at the Dairy Queen but I calmed everyone down with some 20th Century Reggae.

Dentist said my teeth are haunted. A ghost for every tooth. Mostly dead perverts and Dutchmen. I held a small crucifix under my tongue as he injected holy water into my gums. Won't stop the hauntings but it will keep the ghosts from moving into my brain until we find a priest to make out with me.

Neighbor invented liquid Wi-Fi. Just pour it on your Dell laptop and you can connect to most Scandinavian websites until it dries. I told him how proud I was and he was all, "It's whatever," and then I was all, "Yeah. It's whatever," and then he went back to his wifeless house.

Working on a new dipping sauce to soothe the masses.

I miss Bird Watching. I wish Covid hadn't killed all the birds.

Do you think if a dog is trapped in a Groundhog Day situation and enough eons pass that it will eventually develop human level or higher intelligence? Or are dogs just dogs for all eternity?

Dentist said my teeth are haunted. A ghost for every tooth. Mostly dead perverts and Dutchmen. I held a small crucifix under my tongue as he injected holy water into my gums. Won't stop the hauntings but it will keep the ghosts from moving into my brain until we find a priest to make out with me.

I have two short stories featured in the first issue of the Mothership magazine MEGADAMAGE. It's a thick monster filled with mind-bending sci-fi horror tales and some real sick ass comics. The great Trevor Henderson @slimyswampghost.bsky.social even does the art for one of my stories! Check it out!

Working on a new dipping sauce to soothe the masses.

Watched this last night. It's about bugs that shoot sparks out of their butts. Not a particularly scary premise until you remember how flammable everything was in the 1970s. www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2yw...

Bug (1975) - Official Trailer (HD)

YouTube video by ScreamFactoryTV

youtube.com

Sharing this because it's about a porn theater owner solving the murder of a dolphin in order to gain the upper hand in a real estate deal while falling in love with a woman who definitely had sex with the dead dolphin and talks to its ghost. Nigel Kneale. Yes. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifRp...

Nigel Kneales Beasts Episode 3 Buddyboy (1976)

YouTube video by Lord Cheeky Tommy

youtube.com

People are always saying to me, "Anthony, that's not a Pokemon, it's just an old man watering his lawn without a shirt," but I swear to God I will collect them all.

I have two short stories featured in the first issue of the Mothership magazine MEGADAMAGE. It's a thick monster filled with mind-bending sci-fi horror tales and some real sick ass comics. The great Trevor Henderson @slimyswampghost.bsky.social even does the art for one of my stories! Check it out!

The Walmart Rotisserie Chicken Incident: An Anthony Herrera Mystery

My reflection just got frosted tips and my shadow is suing me for making him so fat.

My dream is simple: Rabies For Men A bolder and classically masculine strain of the rabies virus that's perfect for a real man whether at work or at play. A fine scotch. Leather couches. Rabies For Men.

The amount of times my dad will, unprompted, say to me, "Don't ever let anyone tell you you're worthless," lets me know that the word on the street must be rough.

You ever think about Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, kidnapping men off the street and forcing them to dress like Ronald McDonald before he beats them to death with a pipe between the years 1987-1998? Me neither. I mostly think about partying.

They only listen to reggae at the VFW.

You ever think about Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, kidnapping men off the street and forcing them to dress like Ronald McDonald before he beats them to death with a pipe between the years 1987-1998? Me neither. I mostly think about partying.

People are always saying to me, "Anthony, that's not a Pokemon, it's just an old man watering his lawn without a shirt," but I swear to God I will collect them all.

Every YouTube comment feels like a suicide note.

The HOA sent the Faceless Men to measure our lawn. Their tools of measurement have no markings which is fine because they have no eyes. They giggled, though we know not how, signifying code compliance and The Ice Cream man collected them. His truck played Fuck The Pain Away by Peaches. Great song.

The HOA sent the Faceless Men to measure our lawn. Their tools of measurement have no markings which is fine because they have no eyes. They giggled, though we know not how, signifying code compliance and The Ice Cream man collected them. His truck played Fuck The Pain Away by Peaches. Great song.

There's a Chick-fil-A in The Backrooms that's ONLY open on Sundays.

Neighborhood teens are arranging themselves to look like a normal KFC so that when somebody walks in they rearrange themselves into the shape of a giant canon and shoot the victim into a nearby river. They call it sport morphing and it's coming to your town.

Sent my colonoscopy pics to RateMyColon.org. I’ll keep you updated.

Came to in the middle of my colonoscopy. Not being sure about who you are while a camera is shoved up your ass all the way into your guts isn’t fun but at least I know that now.

Donny is a crab with a small man for a face. Even though his face may seem to have a mind of its own and say things like, "My name is Michael, please help me. Everyday under the waves I drown and yet I live," these are not Donny's views and Donny would like to be treated like any other crab.

My little cousin told me Sailor Moon’s cat smokes weed and I got so upset that I told him to take it back and he wouldn’t and now I’m crying in a ditch and I don’t remember where my house is.