I just popped my newly repaired septum (it went POP and the blood jumped out) so I can add that to my turbinectomy clots that are giving me blood noses as the packing material and stitches dissolve. you ever give birth to a clot the size and colour of a small burgundy-grey mouse out of your face?

AI is coming for me hard. every aspect of every part of my career and job is at risk and dwindling fast. I don't think I'll survive this change in my industry & sector. I wanna do something completely different. I can't be a pilot bc of the spazzing. what else should I look into

New Zealand expert here! This is not funny, New Zealand only does this when it’s in extreme distress.

Michael Plank@michaelplanknz.bsky.social · 3d ago

Chris sacked Chris for plotting to replace Chris with Chris to stand against Chris #nzpol

I just indignantly told a man to "eat hair, big boy" and watched his cheeks redden and swell while he tried to figure out wtf I meant by that

nobody needs a tarot card of me and Leslie Jones in the green room at the classic but thanks, weird-ass app

I am delighted to report that the best response to two weird men following you when you can't sleep so you've taken the dog for a walk at 3.30am is "get away from me or I'll burn your fucking house down" always be the bigger psycho! it's actually a lot of fun when you lack the fear gene

what if people online didn't lose their tiny little minds every time you say you caught and butchered a possum on the back deck and fed it to the dog who fucking loved it

my ex: oh look, a weka me: that's a banded rail. good spotting. so cute! ex: it's a weka me: it's a banded rail ex: I don't care what you think you saw me: cool so you don't mind that I admired your great spotting of a banded rail ex: hey everyone, look at this photo i took of a weka

wearing nothing but a huge hoodie is so cute when us girlies do it. but when men do it, it is an actual abomination against humanity, christ, and any/all others. no further questions at this time

OK I just had a calico cat saunter into my house via the open ranch slider on my deck (fully fenced property) and hit my dog in the face how about you cunts contain your cats

how come 9 aunties called me within 90 minutes tonight. is it the Kennedy curse

a week post-op from turbinectomy and septoplasty surgery and I just had the most hideous sinus rinse of my life. I have stitches and splints inside my skull, how is there any ROOM for all that clotty bloody nasty ass junk

look at these lemons. my *******'s mum got a bag full from my trees last weekend and made lemon curd and lemon honey and said they are the best lemons she's ever had. you can't have her. she's mine

Brock's having a hard time

fuck man I just got my new phone and after a week with a slow ass old burner phone that nearly made me cry nine times this is heaven. bliss. orgasm stuff. and I can talk to my dog through my eufy security camera again and confuse the shit out of her

Men in lifts #7,943 today "going down?" yes please, B2 "normally no woman asks if she can go down on me haha" dude what? "where are you getting off? ha" [hitting B1 button] you better get out before I beat the fucking piss out of you "for talking about going down on you? woke joke" OUT. NOW

VOTE

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸@ahhmandah.bsky.social · 3y ago

vote, you little shits. vote because - your landlord will vote - your boss will vote - every nasty little greedy bitcoin bro who thinks women should be assigned to men for sex will vote - anti abortionists will vote - evangelist christians will vote - your racist uncle will vote FUCKING VOTE

I don't think I've been at my job long enough to wear human teeth earrings made from my human teeth but hey ya never know

Set my alarm clock early so I could harass the three separate real estate agents who contacted me during meetings yesterday. work means I pretty much have to answer unknown numbers, but I have also asked to be removed from real estate databases so many times since buying my house 9 years ago

My mom is so goddamn talented. Check out her recent kinetic ceramic works www.facebook.com/share/p/17Q2...

What about when your mum makes you earrings out of your wisdom teeth

It's -3°c here and I'm supposed to get OUT of bed??

for my birthday I want parents to stop teaching their kids to go up to strange dogs and dangle their hand right in the dog's face to "let them smell you" dude she smelled you all from 200m away 5 minutes ago. You're just making your child intrude on the personal space of an animal with huge teeth

Cute opening date for the worst rail system in the world

friends. (enemies look away) I had my second turbinate surgery plus a septoplasty on Friday and THE SHEER CLOTS the sinus rinses are giving me nightmares I'm on all the drugs but I still feel like I have a grubby migraine inside my face it will be worth it but I have deadlines AND blood noses

one of the best parts of having your sinus bones drilled back is how the pain meds make it impossible to tell when your nose is bleeding so you go to the mall and everybody does a double take and you realise you've been dripping blood down your new white hoodie for who knows how long

I got sinus surgery tomorrow instead of end of year because they had a cancellation and I am blessed by the lord our holy father etc. they gonna drill my face so good

I am the unlucky 1 in 100 that has their turbinate bones grow back after turbinectomy surgery AND I've broken my nose so many times since then that I have to get them to fix my septum too. I will have to be my own nurse but maybe my mum can come round. watch border security with me while I recover

do not test me today. it is one degree

STOP BEING LIKE THIS