Alan Orloff

@alanorloff.bsky.social

Cheesephobic. Regular guy. Also award-winning crime fiction writer.

Check out the groovy cover for this far out crime fiction anthology inspired by the The Monkees! DAYDREAM BELIEVER is a gas, man! Happy to have a story in it, with so many other heavy writers! Edited by cool Lawrence Allan and boss Shelley Kubitz Mahannah! From outta sight publisher Shotgun Honey!

Daydream Believer

In 1966, the Monkees was Hollywood’s attempt to cash in on Beatlemania. But they got more than they bargained for in a show that was madcap, counterculture, and poked a finger in the eye of staid, …

shotgunhoney.com

LAST DAY to get a Kindle copy of THE FAMILY BIZ for only 99 cents! I mean, ninety-nine cents! (For those wondering, that’s less than one dollar!) Where else can you get so much enjoyment for so little money? I know where—no place!

The Family Biz

The Family Biz - Kindle edition by Orloff, Alan. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading The Family Biz.

amazon.com

As part of Level Best Books’s First Chapter Friday Club, THE FAMILY BIZ is ON SALE! For less than ONE DOLLAR, you can get the Kindle version! So much enjoyment, so little money! Act fast, this deal is only available thru Sunday! Share with your friends! (Join the Club for more upcoming bargains!)

The Family Biz

The Family Biz - Kindle edition by Orloff, Alan. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading The Family Biz.

amazon.com

I recently bought some hot Chinese mustard. My review: HOT! So @&*^%$*! HOT! Destroyed my taste buds HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT! SO HOT! UNBEARABLY HOT! DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT HOT! NOT KIDDING HOT! REALLY, NOT KIDDING, HOT!

Bild

If you sent me a legit email requesting something or offering me untold riches, I apologize for not responding—I just figured it was spam. Please try again and use the code words PURPLE MARSUPIAL in the subject line.

Got back from California. First, an amazing wedding of an old friend’s daughter, then family vacay at Big Bear: hiking, pontoon boating, fishing*, laughing, games, massages*, movie (The Odyssey), go-karts*, playwright reading showcase, stand-up comedy show*, and kayaking. Outstanding! * not me

Who’s got an effective solution for keeping raccoons out of a swimming pool? Maybe a motion-activated sprinkler? Scares them away without harming them. And the pool guy said to try a plastic floating gator head.