Anthology of short stories about little boys who shoot birds with bb guns and become filled with the weight of death for the first time.
Alejandro Kolleeny
@alejandrokolleeny.bsky.social
I’ll be good I swear. https://www.instagram.com/alejandrokolleeny/ https://alejandrokolleeny.substack.com/
Between Bernie, my ex wife and the tenant from hell
I know it gets lost amidst greater decay but I am BEGGING for some left wing figure to do an initiative specifically around prosocial behaviors and public decency. Patience, politeness, honesty, we vastly underrate the effect *constantly treating each other and being treated like shit* has on us.
Sometimes when I’m really angry I’m like ok there has to be some way of harnessing this to power cities and shit. I am a clean energy solution!
I am going to tell you an extremely dirty secret about my allegedly pure and profound art consumption. For four years, instead of reading OR watching movies, I would put on a movie VERY quietly and then read a book in the foreground, looking up when the volume level spikes.
I wish there were a substance you could put into your body to relieve pain, but at a cost. Maybe there would be a bloody underground marketplace devoted to the production and sale of the substance. I dunno. Just an idea I had. Also, we could tell children confusing lies about the substance.
“So then I ate like ten salmon and passed out watching badger videos.” —depressed bear
Still no gas. About to use this hot plate to make some beats.
Excited for four years from now when I can watch the Nathan Fielder movie without feeling like I’m participating in something. #misanthropelife
oh man when I was doing surgery on the pope the devil kept trying to jerk my hand bro it was crazy
Saw someone say comics are inherently right wing and almost dissolved into confetti from how stupid that is it's like saying music is heteronormative. However, a frequent storyline in 60's--90's comics is "superhero breaks up protest and recommends changing the system by engaging with it."
When you are blasting your television in the apartment above me.
When you are running a loud machine outside my window.
Look even after all this I still have my little fantasies of being a successful comic...getting to host SNL one day...refusing to host unless they agree to make a goregrind band the musical guest...
The guy in Slipknot...sings melodies? He wears that mask and fucking sings?
It's tempting to explain everything as MAGA incompetence but I would also argue hiring a WH press secretary who is so brutally incapable of performing the job is a deliberate gesture of contempt towards the press pool and the very concept that the pubic has a right to know things.
Do you know what a bad sign it is for your Friday the 13th prequel series that a fan who owns a Jason figurine, who rarely makes it past May in his excitement to rewatch the films each year, would be completely checked out? Bad sign. #CrystalLake
Working on my Last Bill and Testament, a document explaining, in the event of my death, how much money my friends and loved ones owe my estate for various slights and infringements.
Still no gas. At this point when I poop first jelly comes out. Then peanut butter. Then whole slices of white bread.
I despise advertising and do not consider myself advertising susceptible but if more commercials had a kitty eating corn I would turn my wallet inside out and walk into the sea.
College Football team called The Meat. Go Meat!
Lesbian fiction anthology in one hand, Brooklyn Public Library app in the other.
Fcking impossible to get an appointment w my ghost this time of year.
It wouldn’t be Indigenous People’s Day without Fanduel.
Love how SNL is gonna do infinite mea culpas for the totally deserved Shane Gillis firing by having his racist unfunny ass on each year to cheekily break rules that have gotten women and people of color blacklisted from the program.