It's hard to play with toys with the toddler bc every time I pick one up I do cool shit that makes him covet that toy

I was trying on my new jean jacket and asked my partner "Does this look cool" and then, before she could answer, "Am I cool?" She said the jacket looks nice

Your boy made another very stupid shirt

Anderson Hooper@andersonhooper.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Made this dumb shirt

I realized my daughter's teething toy is giving AI menu and now I must trash it

My handwriting is toxic masculinity and I take full responsibility for it

I'll never get over the fact that it's apparently fine and legal for the flight crew to duct tape an unruly passenger to their seat. I don't have an objection or a better idea but it's hilarious that they can just do that 

Got a fantasy trade offer, let's see what it is. Ah, once again they want my best player for three so-so players. Giving me three players for one is too generous. I can't in good conscience accept this

My perfect baby daughter will sleep for 14 hours, be up for 90 minutes then demand a nap. I've never met a less serious person

I love watching ppl throw out the first pitch. See what kinda stuff they got. You never know what to expect

85, 82, 81: these are just some of the summer temperatures I miss feeling

Never been a college football fan but now that it's like "the Honorable Bumpy Flumpy, a Georgia football donor and district court judge in the courthouse inside Sanford Stadium, has issued an injunction that Pat Mahomes must be allowed to suit up for the Dawgs when they play in 30 mins," I love it

Bill Simmons is fucking around with some VR glasses, he tries a simulation where he's young again and a character in the movie Swingers, he's playing NHL on Sega with the fellas, he gets entranced and refuses to return to real life, loses his mind, and lives out the rest of his days there

Very funny that we kick off college football by sending two middling teams and our worst Americans (diehard CFB fans) to Ireland, where they'll be drunk the whole time. Putting our worst foot forward in every way

2-yo told me "I'm sick and have a fever because I want to watch a movie." Thank you for your candor before the tribunal. Motion denied

I'm gonna start surge charging my clients 10% when they want me to work on weekends. An hour of work is more costly to me on a Saturday so it should be more costly to them

For a while I frankly thought Green Eggs and Ham was a stupid book but it's turned out to be useful in illustrating "don't knock it til you try it," which comes up often with the toddler

A colleague is pushing hard for some legal AI platform. She dropped by to make the case to me. I smiled and said "I rebuke it" and explained my reasons but I know my days are numbered

Rewatching GOT. It's fucked up how Jaqen rejects all identity but still recognizes gender

TV remotes need a button next to volume that'll make it substantially quieter with one push during fight scenes and the like

Dudes talking about who's alpha and beta is the world's dumbest shit but AES calling Mike Rogers a beta probably plays with the key voting bloc of white dudes who crush cans on their foreheads (20% of the electorate)

On the road leading to daycare a digger was demolishing a house. I stopped the car to let the toddler watch until a car came up behind me. After driving off I looked in my rearview and the car behind me had also stopped so their toddler could watch. Toddlers fucking love construction

CFB hasn't even started and I'm already freaking out and texting my dad and brother that our dumbass QB is jump-passing while holding the ball with the laces outside. We're back baby

The loser of my fantasy football league this year has to let the soft animal of his body love what it loves

Ppl are always telling me "Dude you gotta go to Buc-ee's. It's a gas station but it's humongous. You can spend a ton of time there. They have food that's good for a gas station." Is this the sort of life you think I envision for myself

Watching Hard Knocks. The Seahawks' coach is a major dweeb

Friday Night Lights is such an incredible show with a deep cast of great characters that no one gets around to talking about the gripping arc and endless pathos of Buddy Garrity

Introduced my son to the phrase "The crowd goes wild." It's resonated with him

Natalie Harp seems weird, including this indication that she's just generally obsessed with presidents??

Still so funny to me that Trump skipped his son's wedding so he could spend a weekend kicking it in the same way he always kicks it