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Anyone who flushes wet wipes down the toilet should be forced to do community service cleaning sewers

Twickenham Rugby ground and the Oval Cricket ground should swap sites. Would be much better for transport links for their respective crowd capacities and improve the fan experience.

The last ever British monarch is already alive and in line for the throne.

Rear Window gave an unrealistic impression of how interesting it is too watch your neighbours' windows.

Footballers these days are just athletes. And boring ones at that. You just have to run a lot, don't have to take anyone on, just run and pass. This is what being in an academy since 2 does to the game. We need a mix of flair players and nutters.

If you're over 20 and you've modified your car to make it louder, you need to question your life choices. Get a girlfriend or take up tennis - it's not too late to turn things around

That picture of the cast from Friends with the milkshakes is disgusting. You know that at least two of them are spitting down the straws and not sucking up them.

Self-help books are 10x longer than necessary. Authors pad them out because readers would consider the appropriate length not worth the money

No one needs a folding phone that makes a big square. Make it fold out into something with a 16:9 ratio like a TV and you might be getting somewhere.

Nik Kershaw is the musical equivalent of a wizard. If you've even a basic understanding of the rules of key changes, listen to The Riddle. It's like a spell that gets stuck in your brain, especially the middle 8.

The biggest con the corporate world ever pulled wasn't the emissions scandal, the banking crisis or the subsidised destruction of the global ecosystem. It was when big shampoo convinced us in the 1970s that we needed two applications of their product to wash our hair properly.

The back catalogue of Illumination is now of a better average quality than Pixar's

Christopher Ecclestone will either knock it out of the park or just give a highlight reel of his more annoying mannerisms. There is no in-between.

The best way to cut a square sandwich is with a sine wave curve.

Adders are under threat of extinction in the UK. Local governments around the country should have to run schemes aimed at doubling their local adder population in the next three years. Yes, that includes London boroughs, who should each have to build a population.

If the band members need to wear hearing protection. And the crew need to wear hearing protection. And the people in the crowd need to wear hearing protection. And the venue staff need to wear hearing protection. You see where I'm fucking going with this, yes?

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People think looking after bees involves effort in growing flowers and plants in their garden and all this - it doesn't, you can help them by not mowing your lawn. Clover appears, they love it, job done.

Every citizen of this country should have a mandatory year of living and working in a different country as part of their social education so they can see their home nation through fresh eyes.

If the internet had been around when Michael Jackson nicked all his dance moves from Bob Fosse, he'd have been hammered for it online. People would've thought he was a cheeky bastard and he'd never have had the same level of fame.

Tv cameramen, and their directors, who zoom in on attractive young female fans during sports TV coverage should be on some sort of register.

More people would attend mass if the priest dusted the communion wafers with some salt and vinegar crisp dust.

There's very little worse that sitting down on a train seat to find the cushion is a sponge holding onto something wet and smelly. It happens far too often. We should revert to nice wipe clean surfaces, like molded or mesh plastic.

Trains like the Heathrow Express, whose sole purpose is to get you to and from an airport, should be paid for by the airport and its airlines. Passengers shouldn't be charged as they've already bought an airline ticket.

Grown-up computers use Ethernet. Children's toys use Wi-Fi.

It should be perfectly acceptable for a man to say to a hairdresser, "I don't care what you do with it, just make me as good looking as you can given what you have to work with here…"

Jerry & Margot voted Remain. Him because he worked for a firm that imported and exported and he actually understood their business, and her because "I simply have never been able to stand any man called Nigel." Tom was Lexit. Barbara voted Remain but told Tom she voted Leave.

Gym is good for the body but bad for the soul. By soul I mean: character, emotions, happiness. Exercise outside amongst plants is good for both, and costs a lot less. It's a no-brainer

No one wants to be made love to 'all night'. Half an hour is plenty, then I want to sleep thanks.