AshenSwift
@ashenswift.bsky.social
Shortbread Cookie, WarFrame Addict, Cat Lover, Anime Enthusiast. Apagender, any pronouns, polyarmorus, 36yo. Warning: ADHD shitposts and unhinged thoughts. PFP: @lotusenta.gay
I was sunning by the pool when the boxes arrived. And here in my hand is my life’s work: “The Nerd Reich: Silicon Valley Fascism and the War On Democracy.” Coming 8/18. Pre-orders make a huge difference! Make a fascist sweat—pre-order today! www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Ne...
DE announcing partnership with Epic Games and Fortnite really wrecked me. 13 years and 4000 hrs in game, Reb Ford has been my Space Mom for almost as long as my real mother was mom. All that inclusivity and creativity, just to take the hand of deepfake defender Tim and his transphobic slop machine.
You Were The Chosen One! Iconic Shout
Alt: Animated GIF of Obi-wan from Starwars yelling at Anakin: "You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!"
static.klipy.com
Me: *takes a bite of chicken salad* My ADHD: "NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION" Me: *chews slowly while squinting like the Fry meme*
Never thought I'd have to walk a half mile round trip to ask the neighbors to turn down their music, but here I am.
One of the twisty things about being human is we don’t automatically know why we feel certain ways. “I like this.” “Why?” “Hang on. Just let me a cork board, string, pushpins, and a marker, and maybe we’ll figure this out.”
It's raining it's pouring the old man is about to be snoring as soon as he gets off his fucking phone and lays down to take a nap. It's me. I'm the old man.
ADHD thought of the day: Is sex basically torrenting babies?
Random internet question! Would you rather: A) have your fork/spoon fall into your food B) have your fork/spoon fall on the floor and why you chose your answer?
I am truly skilled. I have cut myself with dried taco sauce.
Politics. Should be: "Which area needs improvement for the betterment of the nation and citizens?" Is: "What's in your pants? What's your skin tone?" Where the fuck are we even going anymore.
TIL DoorDash delivery drivers undervalue themselves. Like, I've befriended some of them and they'll do some extra-curricular deliveries for me if I ask politely (always do), and when I pay them properly for their time, they tell me I give them too much. My standard is minimum wage ($15/hr).
White House Downplays Trump Hand Bruise As Least Concerning Part Of Body https://theonion.com/white-house-downplays-trump-hand-bruise-as-least-concerning-part-of-body/
White House Downplays Trump Hand Bruise As Least Concerning Part Of Body
WASHINGTON—As they called attention to his alarmingly sallow complexion and rapidly deteriorating brain function, White House officials sought to quell speculation Monday over the bruising on Presiden...
theonion.com
Randomly reminded of the fact that to this day I still cannot grasp the usage of semicolons in English writing. (specified cause I know the code nerds out there gonna hit me if I don't. XD)
@lotusenta.gay to me: "You're a carpenters wet dream, flat as a board, and easy to screw." My reply: "Does that mean furries are a carpenters nightmare? All the wood is knotted."
Conversation summary with @lotusenta.gay "It's 69 degrees outside." "Nice." "See, this is why we can't switch to celsius. Can't have 69 celsius outside and have it be nice." "No, 69c is just dead. Though death by 69 doesn't sound terrible."
@bonnicula.bsky.social Hey Bonni, when're you planning on opening your new candy delivery + strippergram service? I heard it'll be called Bonni's Bonbons. XD <3
I managed to hit my overall $500 goal for #VTvsICE at the last minute thanks to a generous last-minute donation today. For my very first charity campaign, the fact that my community helped me raise this much for the ACLU was amazing. I am honored.
Help bully Lotus for charity. Just $100 and we can watch them eat spicy dill pickle goldfish, tell ICE to fuck off, and you can earn bonus art! tiltify.com/@lotusenta/v...
Tiltify - Made for Fundraisers
We give you the tools to engage with your donors and raise more for your charity
tiltify.com
If you think it'd be fire to be used like a cum dumpster, you might be a cumster fire. If you burn grilled cheese, you might be a lunchster fire. If you have heart burn, you have a tumster fire. If cheese gives you heartburn, you have a meunster fire. If you found these funny, you're a punster fire.
I guess Vshojo just learned the hard way... *shades* Why you don't fuck with the mouse.
Car conversations with @lotusenta.gay Lotus: "I bet if Jesus was alive in the modern world, he'd be a suspiciously wealthy furry that commissions porn artists."
Y'ever build yerself a literal physical wall of "problems for later you"? ....send help.
Bad game design idea: 3D skill web. It's a skill sphere.
Here's a clip of @ashenswift.bsky.social having a reaction to just *smelling* the pickle balls.
Twitch
Twitch is the world
twitch.tv