AshVenit

@ashvenit.bsky.social

Medical debt is such a joke. “Hi! We’re [Company You’ve Never Heard Of]. Our records indicate you once glanced at a doctor. Your provider billed you $350 for this privilege and because you missed the Secret Payment Date, it’s been sent to collections. Please contact us to demolish your budget ASAP😄”

Allie Beach-Logic🏖️: Swims out to the furthest sandbar for some shallow-water shenanigans a polite distance from other beachgoers… …then waddles back ashore as a fully-blimped spectacle to grab a soda pop from the cooler because of course she does…🙄

Allie-Etiquette 101📚: When/if she spontaneously presents to you in this manner, don’t panic; it’s just her vivid way of expressing trust and affection, and there are no hard feelings should you choose to leave it at that. (⚠️It still means she’s *eager*, though, so hit at your own risk⚠️)

5 mins: Standard Shower 5-10 mins: Deluxe Comfort Cleanse 10-15 mins: Methinks there doth be Diddling Afoot >15 mins: JEEZ, HOW MUCH LONGER YOU GONNA BE IN THERE?!😩

“All day people have been wishing me a happy Mother’s Day…And it’s just so nice and thoughtful and I don’t have to heart to correct them…😅”