Does anyone know how to get around Venmo’s character limit?
Met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time tonight. Couldn’t have gone worse. Only goal was to make a good first impression and instead I accidentally walked in on her dad going to the bathroom 11 times in two hours.
Hell yes. Just hit a $900 prop bet (I bet my friend Luke that everyone at the party would have a good time and we’d leave thankful for one another’s friendship)
Kohler Recalls 30,000 Bathtubs Shipped With Nude Man Already Inside theonion.com/kohler-...
Kohler Recalls 30,000 Bathtubs Shipped With Nude Man Already Inside
KOHLER, WI—To address a situation the plumbing-fixture company described as embarrassing for everyone involved, Kohler issued a recall Tuesday of 30,000 bathtubs it had shipped with a nude man already inside. “Due to a mix-up at our manufacturing plant, thousands of our freestanding claw-foot bathtubs were mistakenly sent out with a sudsy naked man pre-installed,” […]
theonion.com
Blackout drunk. Screaming at my family that The Grinch was radicalized by the Whos’ own Whobris. "The Earth is littered with the ruins of empires that believed they were eternal". We ‘ve learned nothing from Iraq
F my brother-in-law. Christmas is supposed to be about of love and family. It is NOT about stopping dinner and demanding everyone put down their forks “until we find out who did that to the bathroom.” HE ruined Christmas. Not me.
Waited too long to do my Christmas shopping and now only Walgreens is open. Fuck it. Everyone’s getting a knee brace.
Hello. There is a new St. Denis Medical on NBC tonight at 8pm and streaming tomorrow on Peacock. It’s our Christmas episode so I used AI to edit this photo.
Hello. There is a new St. Denis Medical on NBC tonight at 8pm and streaming tomorrow on Peacock.
The 19-year-olds who attend my favorite university didn’t score enough touchdowns today so I’m blackout drunk in the garage while my son takes his first steps. My wife begs me to look over but I’m staring at our roof, wondering if the height could break my legs. “No.” I whisper.
