Tessera

What do I do about this Forest bike that’s on its 17th hour now. Phone lines are down, live chat not working. At this point surely it’s just…mine

I suppose we have to think positively and that’s going to really upset Ronaldo

mick jagger is displeased

shut up boys my show is on !!!! (Victoria Beckham briefly on screen)

do you think tuchel was doing one of those little court sketches but for football

asking around at the pub if anyone has a 50p coin circa 2011 so I can freshen up on the offside rule

Laughed out line at those two old boys wearing chainmail. Men are class

Learned tonight that Motorola are still selling phones? Is everyone else enjoying the advertising

Elthampug 🇬🇧🇺🇦@elthampug.bsky.social · 4w ago

Every time I tweet about football I’m accused of being an Arsenal supporter when I categorically do not give Arsenal energy. I am an Everton fan and u lot can say thank you for Pickford

Gooner!!!

came home to let the dog out and immediately he peed on my boyfriends spurs shirt that was hanging out to dry. unfortunately very funny and I will not be reprimanding him for it

I’m steaming from a lovely long lunch in the sun with friends but I’ve still made my 6:30pm nail appointment and the salon is inexplicably playing the song from the Myanmar dance workout during the military coup on loop

my blood runs blue when people don’t let you off the tube before they get on. Gov need to be tougher on crime specifically the crime of being discourteous

🚨🚨🚨 The Goodyear blimp is above Parliament right now

I’m sure she’ll be thrilled with that 👍

funny day for it

with all due respect am hoping that pep talk included some pointing to the ball and the net

Pickford preparing for a leathering in this hydration break

Look at Saka’s little sweet face here’s our angel come on girl bring us a bank hol

I’m sweating I’m stressed and my thirteenth reason will be @shivanisharmaaa.bsky.social whispering in my ear “why is it not DROC for Democratic Republic OF Congo”

I just need a quick whisper with our Harry like listen pal stuff is really bad in England right now we really need this bank holiday please do it for the girls who need a bank holiday

Christ we’re so bad we’re almost playing like Everton

asking everyone at the bar what these doctors from Congo specialise in

Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan@london.gov.uk · last mo.

Hugely unpopular policy. Khan could have reneged or bowed to pressure at any point over the last few years but he stuck to principles and pushed on. Politicians could learn a lot from the Mayor. Ignore the papers, and invest in long-term policies for public good.

This is remarkable.

pleased to say my boyfriend has beaten the odds and bought us an air conditioner. reading the small print he’s realised it’s delivering April 2027.

Keir Starmer jibes that in the Gorton and Denton, the Conservatives achieved a miserable 1.9% of the vote. A by-election he...err...lost.