OpenAI GPT-5.6 Sol, Terra, and Luna now support 1 million token context windows on Amazon Bedrock AWS named GPT models after celestial bodies because "gpt-5.6-variant-1" wasn't confusing enough. 1M tokens! Caching discount! Matches OpenAI pricing*! *plus egress fees we'll mention later

AWS Lambda Provisioned Mode for Amazon SQS event source mappings now supports up to 10,000 event pollers AWS raised a limit you didn't know existed from a number you've never heard of to solve a problem you didn't have. Now with 5x more Event Poller Units™ to bill you for!

AWS Organizations now provides maximum account quota visibility in Service Quotas Incredible. AWS just announced you can now *see* how many accounts you're allowed to have without begging Support. This groundbreaking visibility feature is only in us-east-1 because of course it is.

AWS Transform continuous modernization is now generally available AWS launches "Transform continuous modernization" which is just fancy words for "we'll scan your code and open PRs." They named the CLI tool "Kiro Power" because apparently every AWS product needs a name generator on bath salts.

Amazon EC2 I7i instances now available in Asia Pacific (Thailand) and Israel (Tel Aviv) Regions AWS launches I7i instances in 2 more regions with "up to" better performance than last gen. Translation: we finally fixed the thing we sold you last year. Pricing? LOL check back after deployment.

Amazon GameLift Streams now supports sharing streams with stream URLs AWS invented URLs and wants a parade. "No additional charge" just means they'll bill you for the actual usage instead. Revolutionary feature: sharing links. Next up: they'll discover the hyperlink.

Amazon SageMaker Unified Studio now supports Teradata Vantage AWS now lets you query Teradata from "SageMaker Unified Studio" (because apparently we've run out of actual words). Translation: they'll charge you egress fees to access data you already pay Teradata to store. Innovation!

Amazon SageMaker AI serverless model customization now supports full fine-tuning AWS now lets you fine-tune models you could've run yourself for free, but with the added joy of their pricing calculator, a name longer than the Constitution, and "serverless" fees that somehow cost more than servers.

AWS Resilience Hub now provides recommended resilience tests AWS now offers a service to test if your AWS services can survive AWS outages. They'll charge you to simulate the failures they'll eventually give you for free. It's like paying your arsonist for fire drills.

AWS HealthOmics now supports task-level timeout for WDL workflows AWS HealthOmics adds timeouts so your genomics workflows can fail faster instead of burning money forever. Because nothing says "healthcare innovation" like needing a feature to stop AWS from charging you indefinitely.

AWS Config now supports 15 new resource types AWS Config now tracks 15 more resource types you didn't know existed, with names like "BedrockAgentCore::ApiKeyCredentialProvider" because why use 3 words when 5 will do? Don't worry, they'll auto-bill you for monitoring them.

AWS WAF now supports Miggo Security managed rule groups for emerging threats and AI/ML application protection AWS WAF now lets you pay Miggo to protect against vulnerabilities AWS should've caught. Because why fix your own security when you can monetize someone else's rules through Marketplace?

AWS Transform for full-stack Windows modernization now supports offline schema transformation to Aurora PostgreSQL AWS will now help you escape SQL Server for Aurora PostgreSQL—because nothing says "modernization" like swapping one proprietary database for another proprietary database.

Amazon ECR now supports image layers up to 200 GB ECR now lets you push 200GB layers via Docker, but only 50GB via their own API. Nothing says "we thought this through" like arbitrary limits based on which tool you use. Also excluded: regions where they'd actually have to explain the egress bill.

Amazon Web Services now introduces Context Ontology Accelerator AWS invented a thesaurus and called it "Context Ontology Accelerator." It's open source* (*requires Neptune, OpenSearch, and Bedrock). Solves the problem of AI agents hallucinating by making YOU build a knowledge graph first.

Amazon Location Service adds Search Nearby support for GrabMaps in Southeast Asia AWS now lets you pay them to find nearby restaurants using data from Grab, who already has a working app that finds nearby restaurants. It's called "SearchNearby" because AWS naming is where creativity goes to die.

AWS Lambda now supports Java 8, 11, and 17 on Amazon Linux 2023 AWS: "Migrate from our old Linux to our new Linux without upgrading Java! Or upgrade Java! Or pay us to help you upgrade! Also AL2 died in 2026 but we'll patch it until 2027. Time travel included free!"

Amazon RDS for Oracle now offers Reserved Instances for R8i and M8i instances AWS: "Save 53% on Oracle RDS if you commit 3 years and bring your own license!" Translation: Pay us to run the database you already paid Oracle for, but slightly less if you promise forever.

Amazon Aurora DSQL adds multi-Region cluster support in four more Regions AWS added 4 regions to Aurora DSQL (yes, another product name). "Fastest serverless distributed SQL" now in Stockholm! Still waiting for them to explain why their "free tier" database costs $0.35/million writes. Math is hard.

Amazon CloudWatch announces managed Prometheus collectors AWS now manages the thing that manages the thing that collects metrics from the thing. Only took them 3 acquisitions and 7 service names. Pricing? "By the hour" plus "standard" rates. Translation: surprise bill incoming.

Amazon EC2 C7i instances now available in additional regions AWS launches C7i instances in 2 more regions with "custom" Intel chips that are totally exclusive except Intel sells them to everyone. 15% faster! 48xlarge! metal-24xl! Because nothing says "simple pricing" like baroque instance names.

Amazon EC2 C7i-flex instances now available in Europe (Milan) region AWS launches C7i-flex in Milan: "easiest way" to navigate our pricing labyrinth! 19% better than C6i, 15% better than competitors* *if you can decode which workload needs which of our 47 C-series variants

AWS CodeDeploy now available in five additional AWS regions CodeDeploy finally reaches 5 more regions after only existing since 2014. Nothing says "rapid release" like taking a decade to deploy your deployment service. At least now you can pay for latency reduction in Malaysia!

Amazon SageMaker Unified Studio brings richer Git version control to all project tools AWS just discovered Git exists and named it "Amazon SageMaker Unified Studio Enhanced Repositories Experience." Congrats on reinventing version control in 2024, only 19 years late.

IAM Policy Simulator moves to the IAM console and adds additional capabilities AWS finally moved IAM Policy Simulator into the actual IAM console. Only took them a decade to realize making people use a separate site to test permissions was monumentally stupid. Now with SCP testing!

Amazon Redshift RG large and 12xlarge instances now available on the trailing track AWS finally lets the "stable" customers have Graviton Redshift too. Love how they frame "you get last year's features" as a selling point. Also "rg.large" to "rg.12xlarge" - no medium sizes, we don't do those here.

AWS Direct Connect now supports BGP route visibility on Virtual Interfaces AWS finally lets you see BGP routes on Direct Connect. You know, that thing every other networking vendor has done since 1995. Only took them 13 years! Next up: maybe they'll invent the "show ip route" command.

AWS Managed Microsoft AD now supports Standard to Enterprise Edition upgrade AWS finally lets you upgrade Managed AD without burning everything down and starting over. Only took them how many years to add a button that says "make it bigger"? Cool feature from 2010, gang.

Amazon MSK Express brokers now deliver data to streaming tables for Apache Iceberg AWS now pipes Kafka into Iceberg tables, claims 60% savings vs "self-managed" (read: competent engineers). Love how they compare their managed service to you doing it wrong.

Amazon MSK Express brokers now delivers Apache Kafka data to Amazon S3 AWS now moves Kafka data to S3 without you managing it yourself. They claim 60% savings vs DIY, which means they finally priced something reasonably after you begged for years.