If you can't tell, my kids got me sick. Now, I am but a man with a cold. My, already impressive, drama level has increased 50 fold.
Children are the harbingers of pestilence! They ride the proverbial white horse and cause all they come in contact with to fall ill and wither before them! You care for them, nourish their minds and bodies and they repay you with a blight! May whatever deity have mercy upon their wicked souls!