Point: Don't Play With Guns Counterpoint: If you can't play with guns, what can you play with?

Mark Joseph Stern@mjsdc.bsky.social · 21h ago

Why did they make him look so cool though

Film you watched more than 6 times with a GIF

Chris Sarandon in Fright Night (80s Vampire Film)

ALT: Chris Sarandon in Fright Night (80s Vampire Film)

static.klipy.com

Gretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉@scumbelievable.bsky.social · 7d ago

Film you've watched more than six times with a gif.

Ex-husbands: (Slices off his own privates with a knife.) How do you like that? You are losing access to this! Ex-Wife: I... I've no intention of having sex with you ever again. Ex-Husband: (Laughs dismissively) Yeah... Right. You need this.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last wk.

KILMEADE: So the USMCA, are you looking to update that? TRUMP: I don't care. I don't really want to. I'd rather be independent. Here's the thing -- Mexico and Canada need us. We don't need them.

Guy: Howzabout I drench my eye in green tobacco? Nobody: I am so horny for you now.

Dan of the Year@downwithdan.bsky.social · last wk.

male loneliness epidemic is here to stay

Challenging a pop fly that your player dropped and would have counted as a sacrifice for the scoring runner was a shit move. I'm talking to you Orix Buffaloes. Go Hawks.

Who is the Gooner Gargamel?

much like your posting@mlyp.bsky.social · 2w ago

There's a guy on /r/alchemy trying to turn his piss into gold

I just got this message from the KFC app. Was chicken gone? For how long? Why wasn't this international news? What were the customers eating in the meantime? Don't pretend that anyone cares for their rubbish french fries.

Listen to this guy, he wants us to give up our superior shredded iceberg lettuce and start eating the inferior wimpy square-chopped iceberg lettuce. We gotta reject the feminization of America.

Unusual Whales@unusualwhales.bsky.social · 3w ago

BREAKING: Shredded iceberg lettuce supplied by Taylor Farms and sold at some Taco Bell restaurants has been linked to a multistate outbreak of cyclosporiasis, per CNN

I just imagine the person who ignores the allegations of corruption, self-dealing, associations with Epstein, and the litany of terrible policies and decisions isn't going to suddenly go, "Wait a minute! Trump's voice is gruff and incoherent. He's gotta go!"

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 3w ago

Trump, sounding hoarse, is struggling to read the teleprompter

Someone: Are you okay? Me: ................ (Almost a month later) Me: I'm fine. I mean any other professional outside of a legislator would have been fired or declared dead by now but here I am. I am not taking follow-ups

Breaking: Lindsay Graham and Mitch McConnell are in the green room together now. They are going to be interviewed by St. Peter in a moment. Stand by.

ねぇ〜、日本。僕は十年間ここに住んでいるけど、イスラム共和国になったの？　いつからその可生徒？

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 4w ago

Trump: "We had 11 missiles shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan"

GET A ROOM!* * - Preferably a kitchen

Hugo ⚡️@happywolverine.bsky.social · 4w ago

Could be us

That sounds so perfect that it couldn't possibly be true.

Lauri Donahue@lauridonahue.bsky.social · last mo.

futurism.com/future-socie... lol

Mister Donut prohibits people from taking photos at their stores. This is probably because they have the most brutally and unnecessarily slow check out process in the business. It would probably just be a person saying, "There are only 3 people in line. Why has nobody moved in 6 minutes?"

The only work Mamdani needs to do is to keep defeating the dead weight establishment until he is the establishment. Until then Jeffries can (and I say this with the greatest of respect) piss up a rope.

Truthout@truthout.org · last mo.

“The mayor and I agree to strongly disagree about some of his endorsements,” Jeffries said after all three of Mamdani's endorsements won in NYC. “He’s got work to do in terms of the conversations that he’s going to have with members of Congress moving forward,” Jeffries said of Mamdani.

In an attempt to save face, the president announced that he pardoned Turkey this morning.

It introduces interesting places to give your partner pleasure and interesting ways to serve coffee to unfriendly customers.

Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans)@iwriteok.bsky.social · last mo.

A History of Violence may be the only movie I've seen that graphically depicts two characters 69ing AND where the sex act itself isn't a joke or even commented on directly by anyone

Borderline child abuse

Mike McGranaghan@aisleseat.bsky.social · 2mo ago

I taught my 7-year-old about "Pistachio Disguisey" and now he's walking around saying it all the time.

Isn't this the guy who tried to kill Johnny Dangerously with an animatronic and said "fargin ice holes."

Luke O'Neil@lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 2mo ago

And so they meet again

When I first joined American Online the creator forums had actual established creators on them. When I went to SF, comic, fantasy conventions I was on a first-name basis with a lot of these people. It was the golden age before people felt overly entitled to their favorite creators' attention

JD (by way of Blacksky)@jdot.blacksky.team · 2mo ago

Can I ask y’all a genuine question? In all your life online, what’s the greatest social media you’ve ever used?

I'm on here to talk politics, make jokes, and overall push a friendly vibe. I don't dislike how I look, but I don't want to have my personal photos borrowed (stolen) and used to push agendas I don't support like racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, and the like.

big mama 🥭@baldbaddieee.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Why a lot of yall don’t show your face on here? Do yall not like the way yall look???

Dear Reality TV Fans, Don't involve me in your phoney baloney fake democracies or write your phone number properly on their voting site.

It seems that Juggernaut and Rod Roddy have something in common. Get well soon Tyler Mane.

Derrick should put on his BK Dymacels and deliver more ass kickin'.

AL.com@al.com · 2mo ago

Derrick Coleman declined his Mobile Sports Hall of Fame induction, saying he could not accept the honor while Black voters face diminished representation under newly approved congressional maps. More 👇

If that happened Byron would throw so many times in a single day he might qualify for the Baseball Hall of Fame

Brendel@brendelbored.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Byron Allen’s Comics Unleashed forced to expand to cover 20 hours of CBS content weekly, guests Howie Mandel and “Tater” beg for mercy, they have not seen sleep for many days

Me: Thanks to social media I can see that millions of people can draw better than I can. Others: You could practice drawing more. Me: Who has the time? Others: Why don't you use AI? Me: You seem to have a comicly large meat cleaver stuck in the middle of your forehead. Can you repeat that?

Overrated Game Critiques: But the game only runs at 30 frames per second. Who the hell cares as long as the gameplay keeps pace with the player?

One of the benefits of a marriage is the marrying of two unique skill sets. One man carves statues of wood with an axe, the other punches alligators and an assortment of designer luggage rains from the heavens. If it wasn't for Olive being left out of this potential throuple, I would endorse it.

rimidar@rimidar.au · 2mo ago

Popeye and Brutus just sound like a trendy inner-city gay couple

Splifachu looks unconcerned about his solitude

Kenny Lauderdale@kennylauderdale.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Abandoned mall T-Shirt kiosk goes hard.