idk maybe I'm just wanting to start over with every idea because I can't think up anything I can't think of you know? I want to think of something I can't think of!! like something cool that someone else thinks of!! why is everyone else so much better at thinking up cool things?

I don’t really know what Critical Role is and at this point it’s too late to ask

If I had a nickel for every time a dude from a horror movie I’ve watched today looked like Plane Jane, I’d have two nickels. Weird.

been watching a bunch of horror movies with the kid - good ratio of them enjoying them too: the final destination series (except 4 sucked as I remembered), “cabin in the woods”, and last night “it’s what’s inside” which was somehow even better than I remembered it being.

after setback after setback, I finally went back to the gym today. I joined a new gym and they have a bunch of classes and a rooftop pool and it’s much cheaper so I’m excited about that. went to a class this morning and whew.

I'm going to try posting more on Patreon I think but it's all free for now because I got nothing specific to charge for. It's just me typing words. www.patreon.com/cw/beepsofti...

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T for me, but not for thee

it's really interesting how things can snowball once you build systems for your game - it took me weeks and weeks to build the first scene I needed to because I had to keep stopping to make things but I built this stupid entire scene for day 3 of Desideratum and it only took me 2 days

I used to think if I felt happy about someone I didn't like having something bad happen to them that I was a bad person. Now I know that feelings don't make you a bad person. Only actions do. So if I don't tell them "hahahah you got fired" I can still actually be a good person. Maybe.

I love having a private repo of the code for Desideratum because I just end up writing the most unhinged commit messages when I'm trying to make it through a larger part of a task

I was spending so much time trying to figure out how to make my little characters move in my cutscenes and it turns out that my “if Toby Fox could do it” strat worked there too (Undertale uses Game Maker Studio’s built in pathing function and now so do I)

real quotes I’ve seen this week “Toby Fox should make a horror game” “can we pretend Persona 4 is a horror game” guys what????

"I hate how beautiful the evenings are. Because the nights are horrendous." - my favorite minecraft youtuber playing some horror mods and forcing himself to drink milk + lemon juice + tabasco putting that in my "you can't kill me in a way that matters" mental bank

the scream the password scene in E33 is as cringe as the laughing shit in FFX and I’m not sure if it’s homage or unintended

kind of annoying if someone blocks me first I can’t block them also because I can’t even see their account on the app rotflmao

I have started keeping notes for my games in a real leather notebook thing where I scribble stuff down and then cross it out. David Lynch would be proud. (I’m left-handed and I decided I would use these field notes notebooks in a left-handed fashion. I typically don’t do this but it rules.)

the best thing about my mini- psychotic break is that I started buying stuff I wanted more instead of seeing something I really wanted and not buying it cuz be real we could all die tomorrow and I want that purple fidget toy so fuck it

I realize I haven’t released a game in so long. It’s because for the last 5 months I’ve logged 400 hours in Game Maker Studio 2 trying to learn how to program. And I’ve gotten so much done on Desideratum in that engine. So much about the game has changed. And I really understand code a lot more!

Strange Jigsaws felt like an IQ test and a therapist all at once @flebpuzzles.bsky.social

I can't believe that I am able to play video games on my own now - for a long time my executive dysfunction prevented me from playing games that I was even excited about and lately I've been able to play a lot of stuff I wanted to play.

I can’t listen to vs Susie without crying, I’m not even like a rabid Toby Fox fan (i could give a dissertation on what he gets wrong) but something about thinking about a little girl who is neglected and learns to bite anyone who gets close to her makes the little neglected girl inside of me weep

watching a lot of Celeste content now. finding out quickly that the trans fox girls are goated???? big if true

have you played that new extraction/match 3 shooter? what about the nonogram rpg monster catcher? omg that Balatro suika game is sooo good! and I can’t forget the rogue lite detective sokoban!!

thinking about Him today...

thank you thank you thank you exactly what I saw in my head

Vee@evergreensnowqueen.bsky.social · last mo.

Wolverine lying in bed but my face on top and he’s touching a photo of Roulx Kaard

it’s been 10 days since I had that panic attack. I am still worried my life is ruined because of what I felt during it. honestly it was the most traumatizing thing that’s ever happened to me. I haven’t been eating right or taking care of myself very well. it sucks. no idea how to fix it.

hey no like actual spoilers but anyone think deeply long and hard about the chorus of Raise Up Your Bat and how it parallels something in a possible version of Chapter 5? anyway I screamed when I saw it

dollars like sandpaper, round out the edges of the shards of glass of life. cash like a telescope, to see sour stars, black sand. money covers over the cavities in my molars. blinders of bills on the sides of my eyes to block out the burning of the rest of the world.

we started chapter 5 of Deltarune today at exactly 10am. It’s now 5pm. I think we may be near the end. it’s as long as 3+4 together and there’s a good reason why. no spoilers obviously but got DAMB.