If you are seeing this message, shut down your computer IMMEDIATELY.
You can call me whatever you want, but I can talk the temu ai into mailing me free snack cakes. So I’ve got that going for me.
If I “need lore” to “understand” why you’re being obnoxious, you’re probably just obnoxious.
All pancakes are scallion pancakes if you’re not a little bitch.
The hardest part of working in tech is explaining to people that it only LOOKS like I’m loitering in a Dollartree with a milkshake. I’m actually running a very complicated program. Just…from here. Like this.
Everyone who wouldn’t shut the fuck up about “Pizzagate” sure has been quiet lately, huh?
Katie Phang@katiephang.bsky.social · 9h agoBREAKING: The New Mexico Department of Justice has sued Acting AG Todd Blanche and the DOJ, requesting the court for access to unredacted Epstein-related investigative files that the DOJ has been withholding.
I’ll consider watching UFC again when Joe Rogan has a fight and walks out to “Why Can’t We Be Friends”.
My favorite part of SG Atlantis is when they reuse alarm.wav from Goldeneye and hope nobody notices.
I once got fired for being 5 minutes late after being rear ended at a stop sign.
Legal Weed 4 SC 🌱@legalweed4sc.bsky.social · 13h agoI used to have to provide a doctor's note for an absence over 5 days.
“Make it make sense!” Shut up. Holy shit, you sound obnoxious. You’re 37. You have car payments and two kids in high school. If you genuinely don’t understand how inflation works by now, you’re never going to, Shelia.
Pornstars used to have awesome names like “Buffy Fey” or “Rod Steel”. Now they’re all named Jennifer.
You know what’s weird? Nobody accused me of being an incel or fascist when I didn’t like the Fallout TV series. But everytime I look like I might have a slightly negative opinion of Starfleet Academy…
If I’ve been a casual fan of a series for longer than you’ve been alive and you managed to waste 100 million dollars on a series that got fewer total views than a TikTok of a cat misjudging a leap…maybe calling me an incel isn’t going to fix your show. Maybe you’re just bad at your job.
Do you ever think about how July and August only exist as months because two bitchy Romans had a tantrum 3000 years ago?
“You know what people want? 14 layers of management deciding what the halo sequel should be.” - Xbox
Because purity tests from millionaires is always the best way to get poor people who don’t really pay attention because they are tired from their third job to turn out in November.
I refuse to be anywhere that welcomes nazis. I’ll delete this app before I uNpAcK the nUaNcE of people who report 8 year olds to immigration snitch lines.
A.R. Moxon@juliusgoat.bsky.social · 2d agoMy thoughts on Bluesky not being welcoming to Republicans is Trump blocks disaster relief to states voting blue, & is also legally codifying anyone who opposes him as a terrorist deserving violence, & his kidnapping brute gangs terrorize the streets, & there's much more but I'm out of characters
The forms Starfleet makes you fill out before you fuck an alien is known informally as “Kirk-work”.