(eliza)Beth!

@beth.banana.management

Fix your hearts or die. Middle aged and slightly awkward in Manhattan. She/her

My mom called and we had a decently pleasant call, then at the end she said “I love you <deadname> - sorry, I mean Beth”, which is the first time she’s actually called me by my name. Huh, maybe the therapist is actually helping.

Just had a moment of clarity remembering how I kept apologizing for not explaining myself clearly in a meeting this morning and realizing that I _always_ am apologizing to male coworkers for them not understanding what I mean.

Love that my never very good Spectrum non-fiber service has been flaking out like mad for the past couple weeks and it’s nearly impossible to just get a human on the line to report the issue.

The actually kinda interesting counterfactual re Imperial Japan isn't wait for them to surrender, or Operation Downfall's massive invasion, imo - it's letting the effective submarine blockade of the Home Islands ramp up even further and literally starve Japan out.

OK, listen up, cat. I've got the door to my bedroom closed, ear plugs in, and a band around my head to keep the ear plugs from falling out, so I _am_ sleeping later than 6am tomorrow. You shall not wake me with your crack of dawn yelling this time!

Ditched work early, walked towards home, got tempted by skirts at Aritzia, splurged and bought two, and am now taking advantage of my MoMA membership to spend some time staring at my favorite painting here. I feel so New York Lady right now.

Umberto Boccioni's Dynamism of a Soccer Player. I am not even going to try to write a description of this glorious abstract painting. Its colors are fucking amazing, let's just say that.

I remember the time when every shoe I owned fit me comfortably, and I don't miss those dumbass sneakers at all. If my shoes aren't a bit uncomfortable, they can't possibly look good.

My mom just tried to ask me how my transition is going, which is awkward enough in the first place, but she stumbled into it by specifically asking how I’m doing physically, so it felt like she was asking what my cup size is.

Not a great start to a weekend, which often gets me mopey and lightly dysphoric but this time includes bonus not shaving for electro, that I'm already having a bit of a sad spell. Ah well.