(Dom toretto if he was into yogurt instead of cars) I live my life a cup of yogurt at a time
the court sentences you to death by firing squad for being overly enthusiastic and annoying in a group chat where nobody really fucks with you like that
and this wonderfully shrill harpy must be mrs. the-girl-reading-this
john hammond should have made christmas island instead of fucking around with dinosaurs. wayne knight as the fat grinch. worlds never seen a fat grinch, would blow peoples minds
yeah i would love to download your .jar file, fuckin wanker
What ever happened to all the alcoholic former heavyweight boxers who get shipped over to Egypt on a gig workin muscle for the old man who’s financing a dig, only to wind up swarming with scarabs and knuckle deep in some pharaoh’s solar plexus?
I’m deep in the bowels of the pyramids, beating the fuck out of a mummy with an antique flashlight that weighs, when fully loaded with D batteries, approximately 29 lbs
Got a new idea for old Stevie king: dollar bill that kills you
(To two gay guys) so which one of you is Dave and which one is Buster
Bluesky shouldn’t even be an app. It should be a pure php website that doesn’t use https
ive been making up mandela effects and posting hundreds of them to instagram a month. i have 3 million followers
stop letting your children go in the portal! they are not coming back the same!
new music fans rejoice. the RIAA has announced there's a new album coming out for the first time in over 3 years.
Mexican restaurant by my house will sell you a plate with a dozen grilled shrimp on it for $6. I've been thinking about this all week
