Now that it's over I can confidently say:

Ahahahahahahahaha

James Nalton@jdnalton.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Belgium players mocking the US and Trump's meddling in the World Cup by doing the Trump dance after scoring the 4th goal against the USMNT

Imagine having a modicum of success whilst hosting a tournament, and immediately influencing on-pitch decisions. Combined with literally everything else they get up to, America really is doing its best to cement itself as the worst nation on this planet 😂

England will struggle at the Azteca, as every single European stadium is 2000m below sea level, and if you raise your arm in Mexico's home stadium you can touch the moon.

Hate summer. It's too hot, and everybody can't believe you're not as happy as they are. "Aww what's wrong? Do you not like the sunshine?" No mate I'm not a pile of sand.

Also imagine having your big announcement grassed on by Donald Trump. It's like having your gender reveal party ruined by Ted Bundy.

The revolving door of UK politics continues. Mid-table prem teams have more leadership stability than this.

I am finally published 🥳

The real news here is that some comedian inside the Labour party has managed to convince Wes Streeting that he's liked by at least one voter in the United Kingdom.

Puts my utterly woeful performance at Manchester this year into a pretty grim perspective 😂

The New York Times@nytimes.com · 4mo ago

From @theathletic.com: Sabastian Sawe of Kenya ran the London Marathon in under two hours, breaking the men’s marathon world record.

Everyone was talking about the death of the Tories before the last GE. Loads of them defected to Labour, and now those remaining are heading to Reform. They haven't died, they're just populating other parties. Also, Jenrick's a wetty and I hope he's forever plagued by an itch he can't reach.

Tbh I'd bin someone off just for being rude even if I thought they were faithful. It's a poxy game, and you're a dick whilst playing it. #thetraitors

Are all local government officials complete idiots or is it mainly just Fiona? #thetraitors

Sorry but she'd surely make the worst undercover police officer ever. She's got the stereotypical face of a copper. #TheTraitors

Your Party were surely entirely set up as a big practical joke, right? They'll use conference to announce that it was all a sketch.

Some horrible bastard has got on the train, sat directly opposite me, an started tucking into a full bag of eggs.

Pros and cons of Hyrox Pro: Genuinely challenging Predominantly friendly people Full body workout Does eventually end Con: Literally a contraction of Hybrid Rockstar There could be 1000 pros, and that single con would still outweight them. I'm embarrassed every time I register on a class

Zak Crawley must be really funny on the coach, because international cricket is not, and never has been a skill in his possession. Every series I ask the same question; how many balls will he face for 0?

On Instagram, I offered a very dear friend my condolences following a familial death, and accidentally created a hyperlink to a gay bondage pornography website. There's no coming back from this level of embarrassment.

@irradiatedmouse.bsky.social New Affleck-core for you

The last few days of my job have felt like being awake during surgery

This website seems to be full of people who'll tell you with a straight face, that the current government are doing an excellent job.

US measurements will always be hilarious to me. 1 cup = could be any number.

Charlotte Church, there. I'm sure UK Twitter is going mental #TheTraitors

I love #TheTraitors, but I'm not sure why it's trying to imply that Stephen Fry was summoned via a paper invite, as opposed to being paid to sign onto it. Or that he thinks it's real.

My phone autocorrected "Men" to "Ken" when typing out the title of my favourite courtroom film, and now I'm obsessed with the idea of Ken Barlow trying to free Dierdre by shouting "FREE THE WEATHERFIELD ONE" at 10 tired jurors and Henry Fonda in black and white for 96 minutes.

Bilbao review: Pros: Very pretty Excellent food and wine Free Palestine graffiti everywhere The existence of Torrijas Many dogs knocking about Cons: Not one single cat seen at any point Old town almost exclusively smells of piss on Sunday morning, following Saturday night's revelry

The Kruger exhibition at the Guggenheim is characteristically on-the-nose.

The most damning link between autism and paracetamol is that the sitting US president is definitely in the Epstein files