Talentless 4th chair trombone farts in perfect F sharp, stuns high school band leader.
Can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something today...
(Fucks up typing and accidentally orders two dozen Doug Nuts) What the fuck is this
Roswell alien was getting sucked off while driving the UFO that's why he crashed. They found alien jizz on the scene look it up.
Hope everybody had a quiet and reflective Labor Day. Hope you were able to richly imagine a life where work is meaningful and life outside of it is largely enjoyable. Hope you got your pee pee hard and tugged on it so as to make stuff come out. Love and peace yall
[about to give my son a life changing pep talk before the big game. huge moment for both of us. absolutely can't mess this up] Hey chanp
extremely embarrassing to be in a youtube thumbnail. Stop making that face and get a construction job.
I'm doing guest lectures at conservative universities trying to bring back the phrase "Check it!" like when showing your friend something
Music challenge! Eat a whole spoonful of music and try not to cough!
Just parked my horse and buggy up at Sheetz. Gonna grab a 12 foot hotdog to bring back to my Amish commune & show em the true power of technology
Heartwarming: Thanks to Artificial Intelligence, this impoverished lesbian woman of color was able to have a t shirt with specific details about her life on it for only 15 dollars.
Cockroach scuttling through front door, little satchel sloughs off its shoulder. Kisses the wife. Grabs a beer from the fridge—a Bug Lite. Ahhh... the weekend
"Everybody Kind Of Just Figuring It Out And Doing There Best" —boyshallot life philosphy worldview 2026
ordered a fleshlight off temu & it's just an opaque black box. can't see into the hole at all. Its making knife sounds
Me and seven of my best boys all wearing hollister sweatshirts and 6inch pastel color inseam corduroy shorts and sipping on nonalcoholic IPA's and smoking lavender bloom out of dollar bills
Hey dude sorry to bother you but my locust got out and now i cant find it. Yeah my locust. Last I saw it it was like touching all your blankets and linens.
Lowkey forgot the Alamo lol. Straight up do not recall what that is.
Sorry I blacked out for 20 minutes thinking about swipe to text
WHAT YOUR CAR SAYS ABOUT YOU 🚙 Hyundai: book worm 🐛 Ford: paranoid schizophrenic 👺 Subaru: loves Taylor Swift 🪩 Nissan: tumultuous sex life 🍑 Honda: getting jacked off by a shaq impersonator right now ⛹🏿 Toyota: survived a plane crash in 1997 🪦 BMW: doesn't know what the turn signal is or does 🙅♀️
in my opinion every elfs grave should have power lines plowing through it.
New York Tip: When ordering a bagel from a bodega, make sure you ask the man to make it "Good style" This is NY slang that basically tells him not to make it bad style.
[little devil on shoulder of YouTube video essayist] yes... put a recurring side character in your video... give it an annoying high pitched voice... make it argue easily discreditable counterpoints... as so to strengthen your main narrative... while making opposing arguments look foolish...