Say what you will - it is funny that the most this country has progressed with gun control is making the gun emoji neon green. It’s like sentencing a serial killer to getting slimed
Broti Gupta
@brotigupta.bsky.social
Simpsons writer comedy for and by one mother of color
i think if we still had tails there would be a whole beauty industry for it. prove me wrong! #subwaytakes
as someone who's been pregnant i cannot think of anything scarier than one of your organs growing a person and then expelling them. that's the kind of thing you call a priest about
Moms like to start conversations at 7 am with “Thirteen people in India are dead”
the joy of the toddler is that you can take him to a safari park to show him a rhino up close and he will turn the other way and begin to cheer loudy for the chevy pick up truck
wonderful news. the american army of rapists have been deployed to the middle east to support women's rights
Laura Bassett@lebassett.bsky.social · 3w agoCasually threatening mass rapes
I don’t need to see the odyssey. It happens to me once or twice a week
Unless you decide to become naked all the time you can never truly “BE DONE WITH LAUNDRY”.
if you had asked lou gehrig what he thought symptoms of lou gehrig's disease would be i bet he would be like "being good at baseball" but unfortunately that's not how things shook out
if i'm being honest taylor swift and travis kelce had a medium sized indian wedding
toddler currently weeping because he bumped his head but doesn't have enough language skills to express himself. just crying the words "big bird, ernie, tigger, eeyore" over and over again
I am also marrying Travis kelce at Madison square garden
in a porn parody of toy story, probably called "sex toy story" (not a surprising title) you wouldn't have to rename woody or buzz. but that's not a reason to make it
Hearing a police siren and pulling over out of fear even though I'm sitting on my couch in my house
They can!?!? Well I've got a weekend activity for my toddler and dog...
this is how they get you - you're enjoying a brunch and thinking "i have not thrown out my back and i never will". then at the damn drop of a hat,
ever since they lost ,things have not been looking good for arizona's chances in the championship
2 years ago to this date i found out i was pregnant. do you know how hard it is to tell your husband that kind of news on this day
With the way the world is going is there a day that we are NOT the “April fool”? Thanks
You might call it pregaming but I’m not going to stop calling it “getting my booster shots”
i swear to god next year i am doing my march madness bracket after the whole thing is over
at my very healthy parents house enjoying the beautiful time between the baby going to bed and me going to bed where my mom tells me her end of life wishes
my husband and i are trying for number 2 (we're both constipated)
if the wet bandits are there for like the bulk of the movie then kevin isn't really "home alone". so i actually think my class action lawsuit isfounded
do any of these basketball teams know what's on the line for me. i have a bracket that could make me look like an idiot at work!!!!! please play accordingly
why can't anyone lose weight the normal way, by going to the maternity ward and getting a 7 lb baby extracted from you. it's the easiest way to lose 7 lbs
Thinking about making it an issue that Oscar is a boy name and they should be called the Susans sometimes