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Bryce Tetraeder
@brycetetraeder.bsky.social
Global Tetrahedron CEO, chairman, media proprietor, entrepreneur, human trafficker, thought leader, and venture capitalist.
Here is Why I’m Sending Issues of ‘The Onion’ To Every Member Of Congress. Click here to read The Onion’s open letter to Congress: theonion.com/letter-to-co...
I have sent a copy of ‘The Onion’ to every member of Congress. To spread its message to less powerful people, I have also taken out an ad in a lesser newspaper. Read my full letter here: theonion.com/why-im-sendi...
The InfoWars assets remain in limbo. Everything is now in doubt and everyone is worse off than before. In short, it is the kind of world we at Global Tetrahedron have always envisioned. theonion.com/a-message-of...
A Message Of Hope From Global Tetrahedron
We have taken another proud, collective stride toward dystopia. A bankruptcy court has denied the sale of InfoWars following a month of drawn-out legal proceedings. The experience was long and punishi...
theonion.com
A Message Of Hope From Global Tetrahedron @globaltetrahedron.bsky.social: theonion.com/a-message-of...
We’re always bunkmates at the annual Bilderberg Meeting.
Global Tetrahedron@globaltetrahedron.bsky.social · 2y agoMeet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Össur Þorsteinsson - This 1,200-year-old glacier has held a seat on the board since the Dark Ages.
Wait, they’re still on the board? I thought I had them killed.
Global Tetrahedron@globaltetrahedron.bsky.social · 2y agoMeet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Lloyd R. Windom, Chief Transformation Officer, was inspired to pursue a career in business after taking part in the Milgram experiment in 1961 and falling in love with leadership.
Accusations of an improper workplace relationship between us are misleading.
Global Tetrahedron@globaltetrahedron.bsky.social · 2y agoMeet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: The Abomination is currently sealed in a cryogenic chamber in Global Tetrahedron’s boardroom, where it serves as head of marketing.
He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s getting fired tomorrow.
Global Tetrahedron@globaltetrahedron.bsky.social · 2y agoMeet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Liam Shepherd: This was a Make-A-Wish thing.
Meet The Board Of Global Tetrahedron: Bryce Tetraeder - The CEO, chairman, media proprietor, entrepreneur, human trafficker, thought leader, and venture capitalist responsible for overseeing Global Tetrahedron’s transition from a mere multinational conglomerate into a truly interglobal empire.
Just got to the studio. Podcasting mic all chewed up. Disgusting.
Global Tetrahedron is committed to silencing all voices.
Redundant InfoWars employees will be laid off with a humane 25-gram cocktail of Brain Force and pentobarbital.
To all the pathetic reporters asking: I am not available for comment as I am currently submerged in an adrenochrome fountain.
Any muscle mass or male sex hormones previously derived from SuperMale Vitality will be rendered inactive on December 1.
It has been a pleasure working with members of the Deep State, the global cabal of elites, and the United States shadow government to close this deal.
Put simply, we understand that The Onion is special, and Global Tetrahedron’s entire executive team is dedicated to extracting all the value we can from that specialness.
Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘The Onion’
Since Global Tetrahedron bought this publication several months ago, there has been significant chatter about who our company is and what it represents. Much has been made of my past as a tech entrepr...
theonion.com