well since my baby left me I've found a new place to chill sat on the shitter trying to poo out 9,000 pills
in this life things are much harder than in the afterworld in this life,
just saw a bloke with a topknot and a goatee in a ponytail. he looked like a burst dogshit bag
I'm glad Marianne Faithfull is not around to see what they've done to the girth of Mars bars
you have to hand it to Sting, he's really leant into being a smug twat
the only person who makes "rare interventions" more often than Tony Blair is my mother-in-law ladies and gentlemen
having a poo with the light off and a thunderstorm raging outside. a deeply spiritual moment
God himself is weeping at what his creation has become. and the devil is, presumably, gooning.
when I was growing up we didn't have this Facebook bitmoji avatar nonsense. we had to walk into the pub with some gormless cunt in a rucksack, and if someone looked at us we had to quickly spin around and have this cretin wave at them before swiftly spinning back around
I've had tins in this cupboard for so long that even my nanna thinks that their time is gone
I don't think it's safe to say this on Twitter so I've come here to say that I don't think the AeroPress is compatible with Emma Bridgewater mugs. hey guys just my opinion!
we don't need your dirty drug money thank you very much 😡
Cliff Richard looks like Joe Biden if he was a Las Vegas magician
I've been putting off watching McCartney on SNL because everyone's been so mean about his voice. I just watched it and it's even worse than I thought. wtf even is this
having my hair cut this afternoon so I'm doing the woke thing and having a little rummage around in my ears with an antibacterial bathroom wipe
it's my birthday tomorrow so I thought I'd treat myself to a luxury item from the Asdas
if Starmer wants to survive the next 48 hours as PM, he *must* finally reveal to the British public what his late parents' jobs were
only a dickhead like Sir Keir could look at what happened yesterday and conclude that what the public are asking for is more Tony Blair
🚨 NEW: Sir Keir Starmer: "my father was a crypto billionaire, my mother was a racist"
in this world of paedo not poof forget all your troubles with an ice cold La Chouffe [Ad]
this is the happiest day of my grandparents' lives. look at them there. beaming
pisses me off that the votes of my partner and I will only cancel out the votes of the Reform cunts next door. ideally one or both of them should die, or there should be some system in place that makes it illegal to vote for the parties I don't like. that to me is true democracy
you okay @sirtonyrobinson.bsky.social? not seen any dancing videos off you today, hope you're alright pal 👍
the boomers waking up tomorrow, opening the GB News app on their stupid phones with the brightness at 100% and font size 72pt, seeing this image, and actually feeling ecstatic about it
absolutely dreading the horrible scenes I'm going to wake up to on Friday morning. have to remind myself that there are also many good things to look forward to in the near future, such as the imminent death of Gary Glitter
Oohhh I dunno, let's just say that almost a hundred people liked *those* wedding party photos 🤣 #pineappleonhead #uptownfunk #hangoverfromhell
Sarah Cupcakes@cupcakesarenice.bsky.social · 2y agoI have a game. What were you "known" for on Twitter? I'll go first. I'm the woman who caused Dave Ramsey to mass-block Royals Twitter.
ugh that'll be it, my kids are always asking to watch this
