Professor Bshmelbo (🐝-shmelbo)
@bshmel.bsky.social
I fix things for money and ruin everything else for the love of the game
An ode to this musty hotel room: how fine it is to have a home in my lungs that carries the living organisms you supplanted for my tissue, though not quite as fine as the futility of your own efforts to scrub the remnants of my own dying body out of the sheets still we part as unwitting strangers
not now kitten daddy’s giving that man in his late 50s shaken baby syndrome
ok so which ones pride and which ones prejudice
She conversion on my therapy until I tear down a building with my bare hands
do you look at me and see him or is the disappointment a byproduct of a constant reminder that you’ll never truly be rid of him
I’m tired but can’t sleep. Perhaps I should carve out my lungs
to the unknown girl from my childhood whose voice I hear in my memories of all the old softball chants in my head no one’s doing it like you babe
My nuclear bomb and the one sticker I put on it that says honk if you love milfs
which clown platoon did you honk under brother 🇺🇸 💥🫡
idgaf about the military but i understand the anger at stolen valor bc i make so many jokes under my breath that you heard and repeated to uproarious laughter Death penalty
Vibing at the function until the homies start asking you abt your monkey destruction switch
Duncebot No. 1 here! We genuinely had so much fun talking and laughing with you all, definitely made all the spirit gum worth it 🐔 #sonicexpo Huge shoutout to @devenmack.com for chatting with us, you were an absolute delight, evil robot gang 4 lyfe 🔥🔥
Norted Wayfinder @nortedwayfinder.bsky.social · 9mo agoThe amount of love we got as Scratch and Grounder at Sonic Expo was CRAZY. Thank you guys so much 🫶 Also thanks to @devenmack.com for the photo op! Your OVA fit made my day #sonicexpo
i want to say something funny like “I breached containment” but instead it’s more like “what if the only home you’ve ever known is slowly killing you from the inside and the unknown by contrast draws you out because at least it’s a deviation from the encroaching walls” but my phone is broken
I’m still finding bits of my former body like glass in the carpet. It belonged in a museum and I smashed it to pieces. It would have tormented me until the end of time to see what I’d lost. *clocks in to work* Did y’all see the game last night
God has a plan for you babygirl and I’m going to ruin it
My mental illness is that there’s a ten year old in my head that’s literally always disappointed in me
Like you, sir, who kills me in little ways every day decides to end our blood feud once and for all with a Silverado. how pedestrian. I’m making you a baron
Professor Bshmelbo (🐝-shmelbo)@bshmel.bsky.social · last yr.I totally get why Charles II let that guy who tried to steal the Crown Jewels go and gave him land bc he was funny like my coworker almost ran me over with his truck this morning and he cared way more than me abt it brother that’s hilarious
I totally get why Charles II let that guy who tried to steal the Crown Jewels go and gave him land bc he was funny like my coworker almost ran me over with his truck this morning and he cared way more than me abt it brother that’s hilarious
alexa how do you tell the sun you love her w/o getting fried by a giant magnifying glass like a little cartoon ant
mfers be like “sire remember your blood pressure!!” sir remember your anxiety medication
Classic Sonic fans are eating good lately #fanart #sonicthehedgehog
