Lisa Davis
@bylisadavis.bsky.social
Read my weekly humor column at https://lisadavis.substack.com/
The word for a female goose is just “goose.” A male goose is a “gander.” What’s good for one is good for the other. A baby goose is a “gosling.” Ryan has been good for goslings. lisadavis.substack.com/p/duck-duck-...
Duck, duck, goose!
I’m not the only silly goose around here
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Finding moments of joy this summer has been tricky because I prefer to stay home in the air-conditioning. But when I did venture out, just to go shopping or grab a bite to eat — what do you know — I was surprised by joy. lisadavis.substack.com/p/moments-of...
Moments of joy
Even in the oppressive heat, the universe made me laugh
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My options: 1. Eat cherries until I make myself sick. 2. Freeze them. 3. Bake a cherry crisp. Dessert won out, as it always does. lisadavis.substack.com/p/cherries-j...
Cherries jubilee
On this week’s episode of 'The Pitt' …
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“August slipped away into a moment in time,” sang Taylor Swift in her song “August.” Maybe for her. In my experience, August drags on and on and on. lisadavis.substack.com/p/an-august-...
An august assembly
If this summer gets any hotter I am going to melt into Augustus gloop
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In “Raising Arizona,” Nicolas Cage proved that pantyhose need not always be worn on the legs. lisadavis.substack.com/p/getting-ho...
Getting hosed
A sordid of history of stockings, riots and football stars with shaved legs
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What I learned (as a volunteer) at summer camp lisadavis.substack.com/p/happy-and-...
Happy — and noisy — campers
Things I learned while volunteering at summer day camp
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CONVERSATIONS WITH OLD AGE Me: I’m feeling very hippy today. Old Age: Are you channeling that groovy lifestyle of the 1960s, which you were born too late to truly enjoy? Me: No. I mean I’m having trouble buttoning my pants. lisadavis.substack.com/p/sweatin-wi...
Sweatin’ with the oldies
Another in my continuing conversations with Old Age
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OK, I looked it up. We are celebrating the country’s semiquincentennial. “Centennial” means 100 years. “Quin” means five. “Semi’ means half. lisadavis.substack.com/p/happy-burf...
Happy burfday, U.S.A.
A semiquintessential guide to America's anniversary parties
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There are many eloquently named national anthems. • “Lightning Over the Tatras” (Slovakia). • “The Dawn of a New Day” (Benin). • “Ukraine’s Glory Has Not Perished” (Ukraine). • “Let Us Tread the Path of Our Immense Happiness” (Equatorial Guinea). lisadavis.substack.com/p/o-say-can-...
O say can you sing?
No, I cannot sing our national anthem, nor anybody else’s national anthem
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The term “dad joke” was coined in 1987 by Jim Kalbaugh, writing in the Gettysburg Times. He called dad jokes one of the “great traditions of fatherhood.” The phrase entered the Oxford English Dictionary in 2014. lisadavis.substack.com/p/the-fine-a...
The fine art of the dad joke
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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I’m very proud of my packing skills. I have been known to unload and reload the entire dishwasher just to fit one more dirty dish in there. The universe had challenged me to a packing contest. I was not giving up that easily. lisadavis.substack.com/p/thats-not-...
That’s not gonna fit
Hold my beer
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I am a sucker for quizzes, so I took the free cognitive test. I made a 99. I can’t remember the names of my friends, but I can remember bird-duck-bunny-horse-kangaroo. lisadavis.substack.com/p/whats-your...
What’s your name again?
I never forget a face, but I can always forget a name
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If you’re being taken for granted, you are not being appreciated as you should be. If you’re being taken for granite, you’re a statue. lisadavis.substack.com/p/more-words...
More words you're wrong about
I may not know what “maxxing,” is, but do you know what “champing” is?
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The most precious ring is one I acquired in kindergarten. At recess one day, I was playing in the sandbox, and I dug up a sparkly ring. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. A cluster of seven gemstones reflected all the colors of the rainbow. lisadavis.substack.com/p/rings-on-h...
Rings on her fingers
Some are more precious than others
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The 2026 class of PreSchool friends graduated this week. At their graduation program, the teachers talked a bit about each student. Allow me to introduce you to them lisadavis.substack.com/p/the-little... #classof2026
The littlest grads
Meet the PreSchool Friends Class of 2026 — a future police squad and one princess
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My mother’s jewelry box was like a time capsule, full of vintage jewelry and memories. lisadavis.substack.com/p/my-mothers...
My mother’s jewelry box
When I was little, I was convinced it was a treasure chest.
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Ready for a quiz about some new products with weird made-up names? (Click the link to see all 10 questions and their answers) lisadavis.substack.com/p/its-all-gr...
Why is there always a Canadian penny in every batch of coins I count? lisadavis.substack.com/p/counting-p...
Counting pennies
... and whatever else I find at the bottom of the coin jar
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Also called stipple ceilings, they were created by spraying small particles onto the ceiling, creating a bumpy texture that looks like popcorn. (Actually, it looks more like cottage cheese, but “cottage cheese ceiling” doesn’t have the same ring to it.) lisadavis.substack.com/p/ceiling-th...
Ceiling the deal
Warning: The contents of this column are over your head
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Oh, look, the cat is climbing up the screen door! Should I grab the cat before she destroys the screen door? Of course not, I’m gonna try and get a funny video! This is the moment when the cat jumps down and wanders off to do something boring. lisadavis.substack.com/p/camera-shy
Camera shy
I'm never going to make money off cute animal videos if my cat doesn't start cooperating
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All those people telling you to have a blest day? Technically, they should be wishing you a bless-ed day. lisadavis.substack.com/p/church-words
Church words
Praise the Lord and pass the dictionary!
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My husband, a self-styled “uniform czar,” hates this. “Shoes should be in team colors,” he grumps. lisadavis.substack.com/p/magic-slip...
Magic slippers
Have you seen what they’re wearing on the basketball court these days?
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What could possibly be in these cookies to make them change color? Then I noticed the fine print: “These products contain a bioengineered food ingredient.” That could explain it. lisadavis.substack.com/p/i-found-th...
I found the blue food
I tried the new color-changing Oreos. Something changed color, just not what I expected.
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To celebrate St. Paddy’s Day, you can dye your beer green, or have a cup of green tea, a bottle of Mountain Dew or a glass of absinthe. Just be careful with the absinthe. It can be toxic. Actually, so can the Mountain Dew. lisadavis.substack.com/p/green-and-...
Green and bear it
Warning: I'm about to use colorful language
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The idea of a scapegoat comes from the Bible, part of an ancient ritual in which the sins of the people were symbolically laid upon a goat, which was then shooed off into the wilderness. So I guess it is sort of an escape goat. Either way, poor goat. lisadavis.substack.com/p/are-you-su...
Are you sure you're saying that right?
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
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Dairy Queen calls its new sweet-spicy combo “swicy.” Which is better than “speet,” I guess. lisadavis.substack.com/p/who-put-ch...
Who put chicken in my ice cream?
Oh, it was me. I did that. Dairy Queen made me do it.
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Dogs can be primary colors: Artistic model Blue Dog. Yellow Dog Democrat. Clifford the Big Red Dog. Dogs can be bands. Three Dog Night. Toto. The Pointer Sisters. Dogs can be comestibles: Hot dog. Corn dog. Hair of the dog. It really is a dog-eat-dog world. lisadavis.substack.com/p/its-a-dogg...
It’s a doggy dog world
The good boys are everywhere
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They thought about calling it the “Merger Bowl” or maybe the “Summit Bowl,” but “Super Bowl” was just too darn catchy. lisadavis.substack.com/p/a-brief-hi...
A brief history of football
In case you're watching the Super Bowl for the game and not the commercials.
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There’s a small light at the end of this cold, dark, wintry tunnel, because it’s Girl Scout cookie season! lisadavis.substack.com/p/its-cookie...
It's cookie time!
I keep eating Thin Mints but they're not making me thin
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