"I haven't seen my mom in decades. Hell, I don't even remember if I *have* a mom, or if I was just dumped fully grown into this world like some loser dipshit creating an OC."

Jet the Hawk@jetthehawk.bsky.social · 2mo ago

To anyone who thinks they're faster than me. Your mom loves me very much.

(Before taking my ADHD meds: Finally got my ADHD meds, now I can start acting like a normal person again After taking my ADHD meds: Wait, have I been acting more like an a--hole lately?)

[Metal City, 4:00 AM] Renault couldn't sleep, so he decided to roam the streets as the Phantom Rogue. As he sits on top of a rooftop, he hears a distant cry for help and perks up, immediately heading in the direction of the cry. However, as he gets closer, the cries for help sound...off.

"Sure you are, dear."

"And yet you work for a corporation which steals from others." "Guess it's ok if it's legal, right?"

To honor Tim Curry's memory, we are making Brütal Legend FREE on Itch.io, for 666 minutes: itch.io/s/199277/the...

Brütal Legend | The Tainted Coil shall rule forever! by Double Fine Productions

A sale by Double Fine Productions, 100% off Brütal Legend

itch.io

Double Fine@doublefine.com · 3mo ago

It was hard enough losing Dolly yesterday. ☹️ And now, we cry a sea of black tears for our very own Doviculus: The irreplaceable Tim Curry.  May these beloved legends rest well, as we carry their spirit forward~   🩷🖤

"...Putting aside the usual feeding of a blue hedgehog's ego by constantly claiming Jet is second best while refusing to back the claim up..." "I recently heard a conversation between two racers getting their cars fixed."

"Random question: Which fate do you prefer more? A CEO getting Luigi'd, or a CEO getting fired?" "Personally, I'm partial to the CEO getting fired because it means he was so ass at his job that the Board of Directors threw him out onto the streets and he has to live with that shame."

"Like that's anything new..." "...the fuck you mean Sonic's in Fortnite?! Who greenlit that?! Is Sonic that desparate for attention that he'd sellout like that?!"

Jet the Hawk@jetthehawk.bsky.social · 3mo ago

I wake up and see the stupidest news I could possibly see has come to fruition.

(You're telling me you've doubled the game's content and you have the sheer BALLS to not ask for any extra money for it?!)

Rick And Morty: Morty Says 'I'm In'

ALT: Rick And Morty: Morty Says 'I'm In'

static.klipy.com

Fabraz - Demon Tides & Bubsy 4D@fabraz.bsky.social · 3mo ago

Did we just shadowdrop a giant Bubsy 4D DLC?! YES WE DID! 15 new levels, 5 new outfits, 4 new achievements and dozens of new challenges, enemies and more! Hours of new fun, all for free. Because we love our bobcat enthusiasts. NOW GO WILD!

@jetthehawk.bsky.social "...Jet. I need the location of the nearest medical insurance office and the biggest heaviest tank of a car you have capable of creating the most expensive hole possible when I drive it into the wall of the CEO's office. Now."

"Bold of you to assume anyone actually believed you ever get laid."

ℐ𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄@theredspecter.bsky.social · 3mo ago

The mask stays on when I am in bed doing sexual intercourse․

"Fair enough, he's probably just wanting to make a bunch of videos made of clips of people getting fucked over by RNG bullshit during races, or 'karted' as the kids call it, so he can post them online." "I've learned that clout is a hell of a drug."

Jet the Hawk@jetthehawk.bsky.social · 3mo ago

"You're deluding yourself if you think that lump of lard ever cared about competition to begin with." "He just wants empty, meaningless spectacle, and he's desperate out of his mind for it."

"I don't know what Dodon Pa is smoking, but it's clearly frying his brain something fierce if he thought that was a good idea for a competitive event."

Jet the Hawk@jetthehawk.bsky.social · 3mo ago

"I think I just need to break Dodon Pa's kneecaps in protest with a baseball bat of protest instead"

"So, I just learned that that godawful Crossworlds racing whatever is having a new event where everyone gets a monster truck item at the start of each race." "So glad I decided to stay away from that trainwreck after the Rogues pulled out in protest."

(Ok, seriously? Limited Run Games: Trash, don't buy Rock-It: Trash, don't buy ModRetro: Trash, don't buy Are there *any* retro game cartridge makers that aren't trash?)

Argonaut Games@argonautgames.com · 3mo ago

Every July, the Buck Moon marks a new phase 🦌🌕 This year, it's bringing a very specific Buck back with it 🐝 Buck Bumble for the Nintendo 64 has returned on physical cartridge, available from ModRetro modretro.com/product... #BuckBumble #RetroGaming

(Just did an entire playthrough of Sonic 06 through the indev recomp.) (Not exactly gonna do that again in a hurry.)

"...Sonic, this is the most I've resonated with you in years, and I hate it."

Tracy Yardley! @Sonic Expo DALLAS@yardleyart.bsky.social · 5mo ago

Give it up for the birthday boy!

Renault would be taking the day off from the auto shop, letting the assistant manager take care of it as he tries to drown out the festivities of Sonic's birthday.

"Wish granted. Enjoy the item Hell, you spiky pincushion."

Renault had just opened the door to his flat to find a hot Mobian fox woman claiming to be his new neighbor, despite the flat being above his auto shop. "..." "I don't care who the IRS sends, I'm not paying my taxes." *slam*

"I mean, yeah, but I'd rather not waste your tech on something as small as auto repairs, and I feel like getting a bike Extreme Gear would be an insult to you guys, so..." Shrug

𝙇𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝘽𝙖𝙗𝙮𝙡𝙤𝙣@babylonstechlady.bsky.social · 6mo ago

Your tech is inferior, [reader].

#XFextremeFormula Has reached 1.0 and is out of Early Access! Can't believe it's finally done after all these years! Please help us by liking and retweeting this post, let everyone know the game is out there! Trailer: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lOw... STEAM: store.steampowered.com/app/2539910/...

XF - Extreme Formula - 1.0 RELEASE TRAILER!

YouTube video by LakeFeperd

youtube.com

"I constantly tell Jet to go to bed, and yet here I am working on cars at 3 in the morning...Seems I've picked up a knack for projectile minerology inside of a glass house."

(No matter what you thought of Kyle Busch, you have to agree, 41 is way too early to go. RIP)

The Athletic@theathletic.com · 6mo ago

NEWS: Kyle Busch, one of the purest racing talents NASCAR has ever seen and winner of more national series races than any driver in history, has died after falling severely ill, NASCAR announced. Busch was hospitalized this week and never recovered. He was 41. www.nytimes.com/athletic/729...

NEWS: Kyle Busch, one of the purest racing talents NASCAR has ever seen and winner of more national series races than any driver in history, has died after falling severely ill, NASCAR announced. Busch was hospitalized this week and never recovered. He was 41. www.nytimes.com/athletic/729...

"That's sad when you're so insufferable you piss off the telepathic vixen who can sense the good in anyone."

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙏𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙘 𝙑𝙞𝙭𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙏𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙧 𝙁𝙤𝙭@bluevixenfromspace.bsky.social · 6mo ago

"..." "Go to bed, Jet."

Jet the Hawk@jetthehawk.bsky.social · 6mo ago

"Look are you surprised at this point I just say cursed things for the reaction. For example..." "Haha feet vore smegma poopoopeepee salsa on my balls hot rally driving and I'm speeding and I'm vigorously-MECHANICAL PENCIL LEAD DOWN MY URETHRA" "See? I'm just a walking mad libs for horrid words."

"...Excuse me?"

Jet the Hawk@jetthehawk.bsky.social · 6mo ago

Bsky devs are busy eating paste and vibecoding their website nobody will know that I'm gay for Zavok. Like goddamn the sheen off those leathery muscles is enough to turn everyone a little gay right?

"Another dream I remember having was me watching a Sonic Underground episode where the hedgehog and his siblings were out of focus and instead there was an armadillo looking for a girlfriend who travelled with Knuckles for a while until they had a falling out." --