cbh

@cbh.bsky.social

Artist | 37 | she/her | Finnish, living in USA | 🧡 @cushydemon.bsky.social This account is nsfw/+18 cbh @ FA Commission info: https://cbhcommissions.weebly.com/

It's so weird to feel completely worthless and disposable as a person, but also know deep down that you're worthy of something better (than what you had before). Like, I know EXACTLY how I want to be treated going forward, and what I won't stand for ever again. But I still feel very empty within.

Wish pan pizza wasn't so rare to come by... and one that wasn't dominos (gross) or pizza hut (better, but I'd love something bit better quality)

Great.. fumbled with my phone and accidentally posted a draft. So if you saw it..sorry for half baked/unfinished thoughts 8/

My social life is basically non-existent, and I only very sporadically talk to anyone anymore. I do suffer from the loneliness... but some of past connections have died off for good reason. I think after everything with my ex went down, I just kinda grew tired of bs? Grew a spine?

Eternally hoping and wishing that some of my family would harness online payment methods, they're so easy and fast - and I'm willing to teach. But no, we'll do traditional bank transfer between two countries and just hope for the best (it's been a week now and nothing)

I was at the dentist today, literally saved myself hundreds of dollars because I've been flossing and brushing my teeth x2/day every single day for 8mo straight, and thus stopped my early stage periodontal disease from advancing 8P otherwise I might've needed a deep clean that requires numbing etc-

Trying to do password recovery for a website I just got an email from. Put in my email etc on the recovery page "no account with this info exists" : | you just emailed me...

I love the combo of insomnia and depression, it's so good and tasty and definitely isn't a vicious cycle that feeds itself.

I path/shortcut I take to get to a nearby field/"park" was finally fenced off with NO TRESPASSING/VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED signs. There was always a fence but with a sizeable gap, basically to just stop cars going through. The path does go through a neighborhood, so I get it's private property.

I've been working on a new character for a Fallout ttrpg.. its just a one-shot (for now) but idk been nice to just think about something creative again. I feel like I have a pretty solid backstory forming. I even have the theme song for this character..but no idea what he looks like yet 8)

I kinda try to just...keep on trucking, try and live my life. Work, eat, sleep rinse repeat. But ultimately I come back to the same point; I'm so fucking unhappy and depressed. My life is still in complete shambles and I still don't know what to do. My true freedom is mere months away now, and

I have had to be on all kinds of supplements lately. I can't tell if I feel much different from any of them.. but one thing that has definitely helped is magnesium glycinate. It has improved my quality of sleep so much... i don't know if I have imsomnia, but I have a lot of sleeping problems-

Down payment for the moving company has been made, flight's been booked, all that's left to do is sign the lease and I'll be on my way. Move came to $4310, flight came to $448, and deposit on the apartment is $1000. Job search is still ongoing so anything to offset the costs is a huge boon.

Hyenamaxxing@steampossum.bsky.social · last mo.

So hey, if anyone wants to help guarantee me a place to live, I'm about $4000 short. Once I'm actually there, getting on my own feet should be significantly less complicated. I just need my foot in the door and a place to land. www.gofundme.com/f/support-fo...

I really hate when doctors offices are like "yeah we'll call you when xyz" and they never, ever, EVER call. I'll of course follow up myself, but I just hate it. Right now it's about medication I need to go pick up from the office, they were gonna call me when they'll have it, but I doubt they will