If your hair looks great in the woods and a tree falls, but no one sees it, did your hair even look great?
I lived it: It got cold and I just blacked out. When I came to, the rice cooker was going off and the gumbo was ready.
It’s been so long I think I forgot how to do this. Up and down, right? Is that it? Spot me.
Not dressing up this year, but I did dress up THIS year and felt pretty good about it. Normalize wearing molded, plastic torsos year round. Happy Halloween, y’all.
“Went to Fat Bear Week and everyone knew you.” -cunty little park ranger
Thinking about how chill a nuclear reactor on the moon would be. 🌝🌚 …anywayyyy, here’s your pound of flesh.
Pro tip: keep a basket of hand towels just under your bed for easy access and a guaranteed…
POV: You’re a tiny little elf that lives in my shower drain and you’ve come to watch me dry off with your lustful eyes…
Hot takes on the cool-down: You’re all lying to yourselves about frozen grapes. They’re too cold and, no matter the variety, the flavor just gets lost. Just chew on ice. Leave the grapes alone. Stop encouraging people to freeze (ruin) their deliciously juicy grapes. 🍇🙅🏻♂️🧊
Happy Pride, daddy sluts. Remember, they only hate us cause they ain’t us. 🫶🌈✌️
🔁 *not to be confused with She-Ra and the Princesses of Power on Netflix, which also happened to slap in a similar/equally gay way.
PRINCESS OF POWER
MARINA · PRINCESS OF POWER · Song · 2025
open.spotify.com