My three year old keeps calling everyone a “wicked old pineapple”. I asked where she got it and she said “from Mitch and John’s Hotel” which, as you may remember from a previous post of mine, is the name of a TV show she made up.
I think this might be the funniest interaction I’ve ever had on social media
Do you guys think my baby is a boy or a girl???? I don’t know. I suspect girl because I’ve had a lot of migraines and have thrown up a lot and we already used the only boy name my husband and I agree on.
I’m so tired of people saying “you don’t even look pregnant!” I DO look pregnant. I have a massive belly. I look like I haven’t slept in days. I look terrible! Please tell me THAT. Tell me I look awful and tired and you want to let me lie down and feed me French fries while I weep.
When we bought our house we loved the whimsical backyard hill that led to the woods. Unfortunately we bought it in April, and did not realize it would be whimsically full of 4ft weeds by July, making it impossible for the kids to play! We finally got it re-graded! Putting up a play structure soon!
Officially into my third trimester today and it got me thinking: what if instead of having a job and cooking meals and taking care of my child, I just laid on the couch for the next 12 weeks?
My 3yo daughter has made up two fake TV shows she pretends to watch, they are called “Mitch and John’s Hotel” and “Bird of the Season” and tbh just from the titles alone I’d watch either of them.
I’m not sure if they did it on purpose or not but my dentists office is staffed entirely by women, not a single man works here, and there are fruity seltzers and coffee in the lobby for free and all the decor is calming greens and golds and everyone is so nice. I love the Girls Only Dentist.
The best hype person when you’re pregnant is my 3yo who has no concept of beauty standards because she keeps calling me “BIG MAMA!!!! Powerful and strong!!!!”
I asked my 3yo who her favorite was, her dad or her brother and she said her brother immediately. Then I asked which is her favorite was: snakes or lizards? She said she couldn’t decide 😂
Almost 27 weeks pregnant and all normal function is slipping away from me. If I have to go up and down stairs more than 3 times a day I will die. I forgot my purse at the bus stop because all brain blood has gone to uterus. Peeing myself every time I sneeze. I still have so many weeks to go.
Special humiliation of going snorkeling 6m pregnant: I had to ask for the L wetsuit (same size as my husband) while the other woman tried on a small and the guide said “That one is too baggy! You need a smaller size!” and she said “I didn’t realize you had an XL!!!” Hers was hot pink…mine was blue 🫡
Got tickets to Hilary Duff on what will be my last night of maternity leave in August.💁🏼♀️💁🏼♀️💁🏼♀️💁🏼♀️
Look I get why they have to do this and it’s not their fault but our school district extended the year an extra week bc of snow days…a week into the very expensive summer camp I already pre-paid for 😭😭😭
People on Threads are the most miserable people on Earth, I swear. She just made up a whole scenario and then got mad about it 😂
When I say you don’t know how truly unhinged Threads is until you’re on Threads, I mean it.
Just realized my 20 week sonogram (the big one where they show you the baby in detail and both parents go) is at the EXACT same time as the extremely competitive summer camp sign up I need my 5yo to get into. What a hilarious portrait of modern parenting.
"Was it morning or evening, my children would ask. Like the early days of post-partum, I had no idea, I could only guess by trying to carbon date the apple rinds left on the couch. The bite marks looked fresh. It must be morning." @clhubes.bsky.social in The Pom today www.the-pom.com/p/i-survived...
I Survived Winter Break With Little Kids
Hopefully you did, too
the-pom.com
“You shouldn’t be happy your kids are going back to school! Don’t you enjoy spending time with them?” Well, yes but also this is how I work when they aren’t here.
Showed my 3yo The Lion King for the first time and she sat silently through the whole thing and then the only question she had was “Does Rafiki eat meat?”
The problem with pregnancy is eating food. Which is also the solution to pregnancy problems. It’s a very confusing loop from which you cannot escape from vomiting.
I wasn’t paying attention to my 2yo for like 7 minutes and she unrolled an entire roll of paper towels and spread them throughout the house. When I asked her why she did that she said “I was making a cat trap.” To be fair, she caught one.
Sometimes I think about how lucky my kids are bc when they get a gift they often kind of forget about it immediately but if they were a pioneer child it would be the most important thing in their life, all the other pioneer children would be begging for one single touch of their raccoon Beanie Baby