jax

@coastlines.bsky.social

Beer, hockey, tacos, and pizza at any given time. #TeamSaison

My favorite local brewery released a table beer and I’ve been drinking it so much that the owner just gave me a 4 pack to take home. More saisons people. More saisons!!

I’ve been working on my approachability, I know it starts from within. It must be working because I somehow have a date this upcoming week. It’s rare that men approach me in the wild, but I know it is because of the walls I have up. Nothing may come of it, but at least I’ll have fun.

My friend has been bringing me dinner every bartending shift I’ve had on weekends. And let me tell you, I don’t mind being spoiled just for the sake of being spoiled.

All the things I’m doing and working towards currently don’t make me miss my ex any less. In the stillness of life, I miss him and what I thought we were building towards. I know, deep down, it was just naïveté. I just want to be clear of it.

Every Monday I have a 1-on-1 with my boss and every Monday I'm filled with dread I'm not living up to the expectations, but after every meeting, I feel better and motivated to keep learning and growing. Imposter syndrome is hell of a drug.

Every night I shed a few tears for what could have been. Every morning I express my gratitude for my life, and add on one more thing I'm thankful for than the number of tears I shed the night before. The amount of tears lessen, but the gratitude continues to grow.

Trying to reset my algorithm from depressing “congrats idiot, you fell for an avoidant and here’s how to mend your heart, maybe” content to more wholesome things. Like cats, space, and a surprising new addition: this old guy finding cool rocks on Lake Michigan