If you’re the biggest dumbass in your area, you’re gonna love filming a 2-4 minute video of yourself ranting about Labor, Fauci or immigration from the front seat of your car
Got a big gorilla hand outside my office now. Let this be a warning to my enemies.
The key to a successful stage production is having someone say ‘tour de force’ and then putting that on a poster
When you wanna help with dinner but we’re at the cutting onions part
Crazy how both me and Ariana Grande have both announced we’ll be stepping back from public life for a while on the same day!
Been playing a lot more again and I’ve realised how much I missed it
Kind of amazed that no one has cornered the hot dog market in Australia. Literally no one makes good hotdogs here.
Feeling overwhelmed? Exhausted? Unable to make sense of this confusing modern world? You basically got two options; Scientology, or listen to Scooter’s ‘The Logical Song’ a few times
Oh you’re jacking off to porn like some uncultured piece of shit? Try masturbating while listening to the classics; Strauss, Mozart, Bach etc
Unofficial Guardian (UK) Bot@guardian-uk-rss.bsky.social · last wk.I thought Nolan’s Odyssey was an epic bore. If you want Greek myths brought to life, try the thrill of opera!
Strapping a couple of microphones to some footlong Italian BMTs in preparation for my new web series, Subway Takes
Ben Carroll kinda looks like if Stuart MacGill was a real estate agent
All these young pop stars bringing legends out on stage to sing with them for clout and yet not one Robert Fripp appearance
Just confirmed with a government spokesperson that if you didn’t receive an Emergency Alert on your phone today, it means you don’t matter and no one would miss you in a disaster
Malcolm Roberts gives off huge ‘hey guys wait up!’ with a large backpack energy
After frankly years of toing and froing I’ve narrowed it down to two movements I’m ready to throw myself behind: Kony2012 or Occupy Wall Street
Hey guys! I’m new Online Wallet Inspector! Please send me your credit card details INCLUDING ccv number, or log in to your crypto accounts! Thanks in advance and have a great day!
Look we could talk about Disclosure Day or Datclosure Day all day if we wanted to
Don Farrell looks exactly like you’d expect someone named Don Farrell to look like. Extraordinary foresight from his parents.
Well I don’t know about you guys but I just slipped over on a wet leaf on Toorak Rd and went arse over, smashing the bottle of vinegar I was carrying. I also fell off a ladder earlier today. Hard to tell if this is a curse or just normal
Why not put on Joe Jackson’s ‘It’s Different For Girls’ and have a little boogie?
Does anyone have a contact number for Terence Trent D’Arby? I’ve just come up with a great new cooking show called What’s On The Barbie with Terence Trent D’Arby. Geoff Jansz is obviously keen if we can’t get Terence, but his name fucks up the title so would prefer not to have to go down that road
Victoria continues to lead the way in Australian news when it comes to coverage of someone named Moira
Sarah Ferguson should’ve asked the dog some questions too imo
Can you even imagine what it must’ve been like back in 2012
So it seems FIFA were happy to host an entire World Cup on USA soil and not even have one halftime performance from Reba? I’m sorry but what the fuck are they doing over there