Lauren Boebert isn’t taking reports of her having sexual relations with multiple staff members lying down. It seems that Boebert will take a licking and just keep on ticking. 🤷🏼‍♂️😜

By Special Request ~ The Presidential Ankle Edition: 2026 Former First Lady Laura Bush & former President George W. Bush; former First Lady Michelle Obama & former President Barack Obama; former First Lady Dr Jill Biden & former President Joe Biden and snoozing, drooping, tooting, cankled Trump.

Trump fell asleep at the 25th Observation of September 11th this morning at the Pentagon. It’s the first time in years that he’s slept beside Melania.

If you put one of the new Trump S1 coins on the railroad tracks, will look like Eric? 🤔

How could it be a whole year since Lara Trump released this banger of a song?

On today’s episode of People Suck: Dolly’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized with someone scratching over her name and removing the flowers. The star was immediately repaired. The sociopath(s) have not yet been arrested.

Oh yeah — almost forgot. Amazon’s now selling ground beef for $1.99 a pound.

Canada should rename “The Epstein Files” as “The Trump / Epstein Files”.

Well done @npr.org playing Dolly’s music as bumpers today. Well done.

The wig-wearing, makeup modeling Octogenarian teetering around in high heels who went to their great reward today should not have been Dolly Parton.

On today’s Message from Hunter: Joe Biden, Donald Trump, Active War Zones and Food Cart Trucks. 💪🏼😜

More of Trump’s patented pandering, payoffs, profiteering and patronage painted as patriotism. America’s 250th has been, is and will remembered in history as a colossal clusterfuck.

New pic of Natalie Harp running after Trump’s golf cart in 2023 while he was in Scotland just dropped. Does Melania know about this? 🤪

The letters that Natalie Harp had written to Donald Trump alarmed White House staff and Secret Service agents by writing letters to Ol’ YamTits that said “you are all that matters to me” and dreaming of a day when they “didn’t talk about work.” There’s something wrong with that girl. 🤪

I 100% agree with Truvy — the nicest thing that anyone can say about Nancy Mace IS that all her tattoos are spelled correctly. 🤪

Jon Ossoff is everything that Steven Cheung never was, never could be, and never will be. And the Temu Shamu knows it.

Legacy media would babble for days whenJoe Biden stammered or if Barack Obama wore a tan suit, but nothing about Trump’s cognitive decline, rotting paws or whatever the hell is going on with his sorry four-lane ass. Since we’re on the subject — what the hell is this? 🤷🏼‍♂️🤪

Karoline Leavitt seen boarding Air Force One after giving notice that she’s leaving the Trump administration. 😜

Let this sink in: Ghislaine Maxwell is living under better conditions than the personnel on the USS Lincoln, USS George Washington and others deployed to the Strait of Hormuz.

Maybe Hegseth should spend less time filming laughable self-aggrandizing crapaganda videos portraying himself as a macho alpha cuck, and more time ensuring that the service members who are his responsibility are fucking fed and their needs are fucking met.

Find yourself someone who looks at you the way that Tom Cotton looked at Lindsey Graham.

LEAKED: New footage of Mitch McConnell being “released” from hospital.

A statue of Kristi Noem was unveiled today in Pierre, South Dakota. Incidentally, a statue of Bryon Noem was also unveiled in Sugar Tit, South Carolina.

All I know that is if I were former Olympian David Hearn, I would sue Jeanine Pirro sober.

Right. Lindsey Graham’s funeral is Tuesday. Luckily I already stopped at the dry cleaners.

When you forget and wear “Black Tie” instead of a nice generous roomy pair of “Black Cotton Granny Panties” to the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Our Patron Saint of Fashion, Joan Rivers has retuned for a special report on Andrew Tate’s arrest ensemble.

🚨A suspect has been identified in the Case of the Devoured Dahlias. Age: Approx 4 months Weight: Approx 3 lbs Ethnicity: Eastern Cottontail Identifying Characteristics: Too cute to be mad at

Imagine getting arrested when you’re out, just minding your own business, cosplaying as Peg Bundy....only that micropeen lewksmaxing fuckpickle the Alpha-Bits endowed alpha male Andrew Tate.

NEW: Clairee Belcher’s coverage of the arrest of Andrew Tate and his brother in Miami following extradition request by UK Government against the brothers on over 50 charges related to rape, trafficking for sexual exploitation+ additional charges relating to illegal child images and pornography.