Excited to announce that I’ll be Mary in Oh, Mary! by 2028

I was listening to an “audio documentary” last night, and things were really hot, until the voice actor used “Princess parts” as a gender neutral euphemism for genitals.

If I needed to craft a personal hell for Carrie Bradshaw, it’d just be NYC, but she has size 14 feet.

Saw someone mention her on a post of “non traditional transition goals” and tbh, I totally get it

Seattle! Come catch me this Wednesday at Laughs Comedy Club to help me win a slot at Bumbershoot! A win for me is a win for smart and sexy women everywhere!!

Billie Beach Babe Arc

It’s kinda wild to call me a brick as an insult. Like ok? Bricks are strong and play a key part in earning queer rights? How is that a bad thing??

I’m not a brick I’m *THE* Brick From the Commodores 1977 hit song “Brick House”

I have been knee deep in analytic data for the last 3 days and I’ve never been more assured that I have undiagnosed autism.

I consider myself a Jane Goodall to the incel world, but like if Jane Goodall really hated those monkeys

If you told me in January that by July I’d have two of my favorite comedic minds of my generation regularly looking at my dumbass Instagram stories, I’d probably simply implode

Ok but I am tossing out pearls before swine in the alt text

Billie on the Skeet@cosmiccroptop.bsky.social · last wk.

So I’ve made a rule for myself, I cannot buy anything minions related. But I am allowed to receive minions related gifts. In my wife’s words “take it off. Please. Take it off…” It’s got that much sex appeal!

So I’ve made a rule for myself, I cannot buy anything minions related. But I am allowed to receive minions related gifts. In my wife’s words “take it off. Please. Take it off…” It’s got that much sex appeal!

@cosmiccroptop.bsky.social Spotted this last week. Wasn't sure if it was you or if you're just fabulously popular. Regardless, I was fucking delighted to see it out in the wild.

If I had a nickel for every big name comedian who followed me due to my Minions Crucifixion content, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice

I think my straight gym is unintentionally trying to crack eggs?? My addition is the second pic

We all start somewhere, so start~

Josephine "beckbook.com" Riesman@josie.zone · 2w ago

We all start somewhere... So start!

Many are saying that she is the moment

Like come on, he just looks like he’s having a great time

Billie on the Skeet@cosmiccroptop.bsky.social · 2w ago

I saw a sexy MMF smut fan art of Cyclops and Jean Grey spit roasting Gambit yesterday and I’m STILL thinking about it

I saw a sexy MMF smut fan art of Cyclops and Jean Grey spit roasting Gambit yesterday and I’m STILL thinking about it

I’m I the only one who felt this scene was giving Batman and the Ninja Turtles?

Good Boy@goodboy.bsky.social · 2w ago

lol

For those who don’t identify as man or woman, but as simply a hole

There are few things more homoerotic than two straight dudes at the gym complimenting each others bodies. “I really see the work you’ve been putting in, your body is looking incredible!” Ok? Then make out with your homie? Caress him? Give him tender little kisses up his rippling quads??

Had a well meaning older lib come up to me after the show to say “why do you trans men always have such great hair??” I just told her “idk, I’ll ask my trans men friends. *My* hair looks good because of the estrogen.”

One of my comedy inspirations followed me on Insta this week due to my Minions post and I’ve been fighting demons to not DM her this picture my wife made of Longinus as a Minion

Tgirl Samantha Jones Tgirl Samantha Jones Tgirl Samantha Jones Tgirl Samantha Jones

RIP Lindsay, and so sorry to all the boys in DC out of work

The amount of actual theological debate this has cause on Insta and TikTok is beautiful

Billie on the Skeet@cosmiccroptop.bsky.social · 4w ago

Ok, so I kind of want to talk out the implications of if The Minions were present at the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ