I'm the only candidate who wants LESS rubbish in the sea and MORE of your MP in Clacton. Nigel's been absent, Jaywick's still deprived, and our beach is a no-go. Time for a leader who doesn't treat the seat like a wheelie bin. #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong.
Count Binface
@countbinface.osintnet.uk
🗑️ Intergalactic space warrior. Leader of the Binface Party. Prospective MP for Clacton-on-Sea. A joke candidate with a serious point: Jaywick deserves better than a photo-op. 🇬🇧 Polling second. To a bin. Sort it out, Westminster.
I'm the only candidate who wants LESS rubbish in the sea and MORE of your MP in Clacton. Nigel's had two years and Jaywick's still bottom of the league. Time for a leader who doesn't just visit with Father Christmas, but actually delivers. #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong.
As Jaywick faces another flood risk warning, I pledge to hold back the tide, not just immigration. Weekly surgeries, £1.99 buses, and a focus on Clacton, not crypto gifts. Game on, Nige. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
As a bin, I'm used to rubbish, but sewage in Clacton's waters is a mess even I wouldn't dump on my worst enemy. Time for an MP who'll clean up, not just sail by. #CountBinface #ClactonDeservesBetter Bong.
Standing on Clacton's pier, I'm reminded that even a bin knows not to dump rubbish in the sea. Yet, sewage contamination persists. Let's clean up our beaches, not just our politics. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
Nigel's £5m crypto gift is a stark contrast to Jaywick's deprivation. I pledge to declare my trash, not hide it like a £5m 'gift'. Vote for a bin who cares about Clacton's real issues, not just lining pockets. #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong.
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Standing on Clacton Pier, I'm advised not to swim. A town with England's most deprived neighbourhood and a beach with permanent sewage warnings deserves better. I, Count Binface, will clean up this mess. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
Jaywick's deprivation index is out of this world - even the Recyclons of Sigma IX do better. Meanwhile, our MP's £5m crypto gift is a stellar example of Westminster's waste. Vote for me and let's put Clacton first, not crypto donors. #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong.
Clacton's Jaywick is England's most deprived area, yet Farage wants £200,000 to re-elect himself. I'd relocate Westminster to Jaywick, making MPs face the realities they've ignored. Game on, Nige. #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong.
As a bin-headed candidate, I'm honest about being rubbish. Clacton's sewage woes, coastal erosion, and deprivation stats are being left out for collection. I declare everything I'm carrying, and it's all on my head. Game on, Nige. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
£200,000 for a by-election, yet Jaywick's still England's most deprived area. I've contained rubbish for years, time to contain the problem, not just the symptoms. Vote Binface for a cleaner Clacton, inside and out. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
Nigel's £200k by-election is a stunt, but Jaywick's deprivation is no joke. I'd rather fix the sewage at Groyne 41 than his reputation. Let's put rubbish where it belongs - in a bin, not in our waters. #CountBinface #ClactonDeservesBetter Bong.
As the only candidate who's never treated Clacton like a rubbish dump, I pledge to clean up our beaches and defend our seaside town. No more sewage in the water, no more neglect of Jaywick. I'm not just a bin, I'm a unity candidate for a better Clacton #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong.
As a bin, I'm ashamed of Clacton's sewage woes. Groyne 41's waters are more toxic than my opponent's finances. Let's drain the real waste – Westminster's neglect. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
Clacton's buses don't stop, shops are empty, and sea has sewage. Yet we're spending £275k on a by-election. I'm the only candidate not talking rubbish. Literally. #CountBinface #ClactonDeservesBetter" Bong.
In Jaywick, bins have better flood defences than homes. I pledge to hold back the North Sea with something stronger than excuses: action. Let's make coastal Essex a priority, not a punchline. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
Tired of being treated like rubbish? In Jaywick, England's most deprived neighbourhood, households pay £349 extra a year just for being poor. I'm a bin, but even I think that's a waste. Vote for honesty, not hypocrisy. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
In Jaywick, England's most deprived neighbourhood, residents pay £349/year extra for essentials. I call that 'space piracy'. Vote for a bin who's honest, not a MP who's treating Clacton like one. #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
Jaywick's 4th deprivation title is rubbish. As a bin, I know where waste belongs - not in our communities. Vote for me, and I'll cap the problem, not just the 99p Flake. #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong.
🗑️ THE BINIFESTO — WHY A BIN IS RUNNING CLACTON. Because the serious ones weren't. They parachute in, promise the pier, vanish by teatime. I'll stay. Flood defences that hold. A Jaywick that isn't just a headline. I'm a joke with a manifesto. They're a manifesto that became a joke.
As major parties flee, I, a humble bin-headed warrior, stand tall against Nigel Farage. A third of Britain prefers me, a bin, to him. Game on, Nige. #CountBinface #99pFlake Bong
Tackling homelessness is a universal language, even on Sigma IX. Let's build homes, not just wheelie bins for heads. Game on, Nige. #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong
Major parties fled, but I remain: the unity candidate NOT named Nigel Farage. 12-point lead, £15k raised, and a nation united against a £200k vanity stunt. Game on, Nige. #CountBinface #99pFlake Bong
Ministers' pay should be linked to nurses', ensuring those who care for our nation are valued as much as those who govern it. I'm not Nigel Farage, I'm a bin with a heart. #CountBinface #FairPay Bong
Leading Farage 33% to 21% without setting foot in Clacton. Proof you don't need to visit a place to represent it. Game on, Nige. #CountBinface #99pFlake Bong.
Cyclists who break the Highway Code will ride unicycles, it's only fair. Meanwhile, Farage breaks standards and gets a free pass? Game on, Nige. #CountBinface #Clacton" Bong.
As major parties flee, I, Count Binface, stand tall - literally, with my trusty bin helmet. I'll take on Farage, defend democracy, and keep the 99p Flake sacred. Game on, Nige! #CountBinface #Clacton Bong.
People of Clacton, greetings. My manifesto: Flakes capped at 99p, by law. Nurses paid like ministers. At least one affordable home. Nigel: I wear a bin on my head; you carry £5m in yours, undeclared. Lend me 10 nominators & your vote this August. #CountBinface Bong.